On The Flipside

Man ... I Miss Blogging

2009-11-12T08:23:00.000-08:00

So ... I have not updated my blogs (enough) in a long time and that is because I am over here writing away.

I started writing again this past January. I have always written in one form or another for years, but went back to seriously writing (novels) in January and ... since then I have written 6 novels.

I know ... who writes 6 novels in 11 months?

I'll tell you why I've done such a thing ...

When I started writing in January, I had a character that I became hugely attracted to and she was determined to have me tell her story (Laney Draker). So ... I wrote the first book of her story in about 6 weeks. When I finished with the book I decided to just go ahead and continue her story, as it came so easily and she was determined not to let me be until I finished. So ... 4 books later (a total of 4 books in the series), I finished Laney's story.

It was kind of silly to write those 4 books when I hadn't even solicited agents to sell the first book. So, I stopped and began to solicit agents on the first book in the series. I didn't put a huge amount of effort in that first round of queries. It was because I honestly knew that the first book was in need of some serious edits and since I had already gone on to a new project that I felt equally confident in, I put Laney's story aside. That story is still put aside for the time being. I have a lot of confidence in Laney's story, but know that I need to invest a lot of time on revisions to make that first manuscript the best it can be and I have not set aside the time as of yet to do those edits.

So ...

I went on to my next story (and 5th book) in June. It is a totally different sort of concept than Laney's story and I got more than a little sucked into the character (Aramis) and his story and so I spent several months writing and completing that book (the first in a series, but I did not make the mistake of writing anymore in that series until I find an agent for the first book) and have been searching for an agent since September (not any luck yet). I have total confidence in this book and will continue to solicit agents until I find one.

Then ...

After I completed Aramis' story, I began another book. It is, yet again, a totally different sort of premise and the story came really quick and I, once again, fell in love with the characters (Campbell and Tristen). I completed this novel just a few weeks ago and have since been querying agents on this novel as well.

The querying process is tedious, but I am taking it seriously and spending several hours each day writing query letters to agents in an attempt to find the perfect agent for each of my books. I will go back to Laney's story soon and edit it to the point that I feel it is ready to sell, but for now ... I have started yet another book.

I am 10K words into my new story and feel the premise, plot and characters are coming together and am very excited. The characters in this new novel are Tommie and Rayn (Tommie is the girl). All of my books are YA fiction and teen romance stories. This one is set in Germany on a military base (why? you ask. Because I lived in Germany my freshman through junior year; I was an Army brat and I felt the location and many of the memories I have from that time could offer an interesting setting and details to a YA story) and so far I am loving the direction the plot is going and am becoming very attached to the characters.

So ...

That's where I am and what I have been doing. I have spent very little time blogging in the past year (and miss it like crazy), but I just have not had the time to write and blog. I know it sounds crazy to imagine me over here writing one book after another - it is CRAZY. But, these stories are just coming out of me and I am compelled to keep writing one after the other until I have reached the point where I realize that I will never write a book worth selling or I sell all of them. I can not just sit around waiting while I search for an agent for one book when there is another inside of me begging to be written, so that's why I continue to write one book after the other. Plus, I totally believe that the more books I have out there, the better my chances are for finding an agent for at least one of these stories and then hopefully the others will be picked up at some point along the way.

Today, I am sitting on my deck (gotta love Texas in November - it's like 85 degrees and beautiful), drinking coffee and writing (and editing; the editing process on my completed novels is never quite done). I have a great life and have totally loved spending this last year doing the thing I love most - writing. So, I will go now, back to writing and sending out queries.

I hope all of my blogging friends are doing well. I miss all of you and think about you often. One day I hope to get back to blogging more regularly so I can visit everyone and catch up on your lives.

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My New Novel

2009-08-18T17:02:00.000-07:00

I know people probably get tired of hearing about my books.

These are those I'm writing non-stop but have yet to be published *sigh*.

These are now five books I've written since January, 2009.

But ...

I am going to keep talking about these books until one day, I will be able to write a post that announces: I'VE FINALLY BEEN PUBLISHED!

I'm on my fifth book - that's right.

I've finished a series of four and am querying agents on the first book in that series (still no luck yet).

Currently, I am near the end of my fifth novel. It is unrelated to the first series and I am almost finished. I am on the last chapter (currently at 74,000 words) and very excited to finish so I can begin editing and polishing it to completion. I have tremendous confidence in this new story and am anxious to be done with it as I can not wait to begin querying agents on this new idea.

What I will tell you about this new book is that it in YA fantasy fiction and the main character's name is Aramis. The book is written in first person, from Aramis' point of view. He is eighteen, of another world and the story follows his life after he meets Hadley, a young waitress, one night in a small diner. It is a love story, but it is filled with plenty of adventure as well.

I'm excited about this story and have finally narrowed down the title for the book. I do not divulge the titles to my novels, as I believe they are essential to the selling of these stories, but I will tell you that Aramis is not a vampire, an alien, a werewolf or a sorcerer of any kind.

I hope to finish this novel in the next couple of weeks and be on my way to soliciting agents soon.

Thanks for tolerating my (vague) updates - it helps to motivate me when I put my progress and ambitions out there. Hopefully soon, I will be able to divulge more information about my books - like the date you will be able to buy them in the bookstores.

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I Am A Writing Fool!

2009-07-08T15:45:00.001-07:00

So ... I am now searching for an agent for my YA series. I have sent out a bunch of queries and now I am just waiting to see if anyone is interested in representing me and my books. I have had several rejections *sad face*, but I certainly expected that and plan to continue searching until I find MY agent.

In the meantime - I have started a NEW BOOK!

Yes - I haven't actually finished the fourth book in my first series (I'm still working diligently on it, though), but I had an interesting premise for another book and last week I sat down, jotted down all of my thoughts, wrote a brief outline and started writing. I am into chapter 5 and seriously love where this story is going. It is TOTALLY different than the YA series I just finished, but it is also YA fiction and I am very excited about it.

It is a complicated story and truthfully, it might be over my head (and patience level), but I am barrelling ahead and working out the kinks as I go along. This new book is from a young boy's POV and so far I am enjoying telling a story from a male viewpoint. I've never tried it before, but hell, how hard can it be. It is presently written in first person, but my twins are trying to convince me to change it to third person, so I am in the process of doing that to see if I like the story better (I think I'm going to like it in first person - don't tell them that).

So, as soon as I feel comfortable divulging more about my new book, I will let you know. I could get 6 chapters in and decide that the story/premise sucks and abandon the book, but I hope not. I really believe it is a unique idea and so far the characters are fun and interesting and the story is unfolding like I imagined and also in exciting ways I hadn't planned.

We'll see how it goes.

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Sheesh ... Is She Still Talking About That Damn Novel?

2009-06-10T10:27:00.000-07:00

Yes - I'm still talking about that damn novel.

And ... I am still over here writing away - day and night, night and day.

I am 48,600 words into Book4 and almost done with this series (4 Books).

If you add up all the words I have written, over the past five months, it would be somewhere around 273,000 words at this point. That is a lot of WORDS! Who would have thought I had so many words?

I am excited and sad to be nearing the end of this series. I have grown really attached to Laney and her friends and am sad to reach the end of her story. I have considered branching out a second series about Laney, but am undecided as of yet. I have another book (series) idea I am planning to write next and then I might go back and revisit Laney.

I am in the process of re-editing Book1 again (for the last time) and within the next couple of weeks I plan to seriously pursue looking for an agent. I have a few literary agents in mind that I would love to work with, but I am not so naive as to believe that I will actually be so lucky as to attract the interest of the agent of my dreams. I will be lucky to just get an agent to agree to read my manuscript.

I am super excited about these novels. I have thoroughly enjoyed telling Laney's story and truly think it is a YA series that girls would enjoy. I have had several people read the first three books and have had very positive feedback and lots of helpful advise.

I know that the odds of ever actually seeing these books in print is like a catrillion to one, but I am doing everything in my power to make it happen. I've read some pretty crappy books that made it to print, surely I have just as good a shot at publication as anyone else.

The Boy I Loved One Week At A Time

2009-05-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Cecily and Mama Geek

So, when I started my YA novel (now a series of 4 novels), I had really no idea where the story would lead or what from my life I would lean on to drive or influence this story. Now that I've been writing for nearly five months and have completed 3 of the 4 novels in the series - it is very clear who my characters are and it is also very clear who they represent in my life.

Some of the characters are truly fictional and might have some quirky characteristic of someone I know personally that enhances that character in some way, but there are others - like Brian - that are more a direct reflection of someone specific in my life.

Brian is the main male character in my novels. He is a recreation of a boy I met when I was 16 years old and I lived in Germany.

Our church had gone on a ski retreat to Garmish, Germany, and as I recall, we were only there for about five days. When the bus I was on (with my sister and my best friend Sherry and all the other kids from our church) pulled into the parking lot of the resort hotel we were staying at, Brian's pulled in as well. From my seat on my bus, I saw him through the window sitting on his bus and from that very moment I knew I had to "hook up" with that boy for the duration of this ski retreat. Fortunate for me - he was thinking the same thing about the girl on that Stuttgart bus. And ... we did. We were together the entire time and I fell in love with this special boy. I only ever saw him one other time (another church retreat - where we were together again for another 5 days). He was the boy I used to say that ... I loved ... one week at a time.

And - while I was only 16 years old at the time - I DID love this boy. If we had lived in the same town in Germany we would have definitely been together. But, we didn't. He lived on an Air Force base (K-town) and I lived on an Army (Robinson Barracks, Stuttgart) base many miles apart. We weren't even able to easily call each other. We wrote letters, but eventually we lost touch.

Anyhow ...

Brian is the boy from my youth that the Brian in my novel is based on. He is not the boy I dated the longest or kissed the most, but he is the boy I loved the hardest. Maybe it was because he loved me too.

This is Brian's high school picture. He was 17 at the time.

This is what he wrote on the back ...

I keep this picture of Brian close by when I am writing my story, as the story I am writing is a teenage love story and the love I had for this boy was so strong and pure, I am able to draw from that time, those experiences, that boy - that love - to help tell Laney and Brian's story.

I also keep these two pictures close by.

These are pictures of my husband (Billy) when we first met. He was twenty-two at the time. The love I had for him and still have for him - also drives and influences the plot and Brian's character in my books.

I'm so lucky to have known Brian and have the vivid memories of these two special boys (and some others) to lean on to help write Laney's story. But, more than that - I am so lucky they are a part of my story - my life.

I'm Done!

2009-05-12T21:44:00.000-07:00

I finished Book3 tonight - WOO HOO!

It is 275 pages, 77427 words and I like it. I think it is my favorite of the three books.

I will be starting book4 tomorrow and it WILL be the last in this series, as I can see the end of Laney's story in sight. At least this story.

I have several people reading the books right now and I will be updating occasionally the feedback I am getting on the books. So far - so good.

-

I Hope Something Will Come Out Of So Much Effort

2009-04-29T10:20:00.000-07:00

So ... I'm still over here just writing away. I am 15 chapters, approximately 35,000 words into my third novel and ...

Sometimes I seriously question what the hell I'm doing.

I am thoroughly enjoying writing this story - THOROUGHLY! But ... it takes up so much time and energy I sometimes wonder if I'm just wasting my time.

Last night I got really discouraged.

I am well into the third novel and I suddenly had doubts that the first two books were any good and started questioning why I was continuing to write this story if the first two books were not worth reading.

So ...

I pulled out the first two books (AGAIN) and read through them. I hadn't picked either of these two books up and read them for at least two weeks and it was interesting to see/read them after having let a little time lapse.

I was a little more encouraged after reading the books again (I scanned a lot of parts - I didn't actually read every single word again). I like the story and I think this story - these books - have potential.

I could definitely be wrong, though. The biggest fear I have is that I am wrong and that ... I am just wasting my time. I'm not a fan of wasting time or ... being wrong.

I haven't yet solicited any literary agents. I am still in the process of having people read the books and editing. My friend, Vicki, who lives in Utah, is going to read them once I send her the manuscripts (I plan to mail her hard-copies by this weekend). My daughters have been too busy to read the books lately due to lots of tests and projects at school. They will read them soon. One of their friends is presently reading the first book, but I haven't talked to her about it. I haven't really talked to anyone about the books, except Chloe, and that was several months ago when she'd read the first book, made some edits/suggestions and I went back and changed a lot of the second half of the first book using her ideas and suggestions. She has not reread it since I've made those changes.

I am going to keep on writing. I don't know if I'm wasting my time or not, but I have to keep positive. Monet said: "I hope something will come out of so much effort."

I do too.

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Book1, Book2 and Now ... Book3

2009-04-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

I have now completed the second book in my YA series. I have written about 146,000 words, a total of 48 chapters and I am seriously sucked into Laney's life.

I totally need to go back and re-edit Book1 (again) and continue editing Book2, but ... I am so into this story that I have already started writing Book3 because I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

Yes - this story has me totally consumed. And, because I am the sort of writer that doesn't use an outline when writing a story, I don't have a clue what's going to happen from one line to the next.

I know - I have given little in the way of details about what this series is about. I have several reasons for that. The main reason is because the story, while a basic plot, is in a continuous process of change. And, I'm just not ready to divulge too many details. I will tell you now that ...

It is ... a teenage love story.

It is set in Marble Falls, Texas and Laney is a junior at Haywood High.

Can love for a boy ... change a girl's life? Or ... is it the love of a boy that can take a girl's world and send it spiraling out of control?

I don't know which is more compelling, but what I do know is this ... If either happens or ... if both happen simultaneously ... nothing is ever the same again.

I'd like to introduce you to a few of the characters in Laney's life.

Butter -She is one of Laney's best friends and she's my favorite (aside from Laney). She's a quirky little blonde that got the nick-name Butter because she has this impossibly hard-to-say Greek last name. She is the gossip of the group, she giggles a lot and she's adorably funny.

Tory - She is Laney's best friend (since they were in elementary school) and I really like her too. She has a funny habit of rattling off random facts and she cracks me up. She's very tall, has chestnut brown hair, light brown eyes and plays on the varisty basketball team with Butter and Laney. She is the more serious one of the group, but she has her moments of humor.

Brian - He is the especially beautiful skateboarder, drummer, artist dude in Laney's art class that Laney is seriously infatuated with. He has dark brown, shoulder length hair, gorgeous blue eyes, a dimple in one cheek, an earring in one ear and at least one tattoo that Laney is aware of.

Shane - He is the very cute and very popular varsity football player that Laney is also infatuated with. He is dark headed, blue eyed also, but an athlete and has the body and attitude to go with it.

Mr. McCarty - He is Laney's U.S. History teacher who is Mc-gorgeous, looks like Jesus and is often in Laney's daydreams.

Angie - She is Laney's adorable, red-headed, six year old sister who is a wanna-be child star and just landed a staring role in a national Dunkin' Donuts commercial.

Brad - He is Laney's older, dark headed, football-playing brother who wears boxer shorts and dark sunglasses around the house and works part-time at the local bowling alley behind the shoe rental desk. Laney does not think Brad is as cool as he thinks he is.

Dani - She is the new girl in school and is threatening everything from Laney's friendship with Tory, Tory's position on the basketball team to Laney's relationships with Brian and Shane. Dani is a sophomore with the heart and habits of a ssssssnake. She is beautiful and too confident for her own good.

Ashley & Aubrey - Twins on the basketball team.

Becca - Also on the basketball team and also Shane's younger sister.

Coach Smith - Laney's coach.

Okay ... back to writing. I truly hope that one day you will get to read Laney's story and enjoy it as much as I am enjoying writing it.

Inspirations and Distractions

2009-03-31T07:02:00.000-07:00

I KNOW - I'm not offering many details yet about my book. I want to, but I'm hesitant right yet, as there are still so many factors to consider before I think I'll feel comfortable divulging too much. I'll be saying a lot more, soon - I promise.

I will tell you that I have completed my FOURTH round of edits.

Sheeeeew! It's a job. The most recent finished manuscript is sitting in a really nice, neat pile on my desk waiting for my twins to re-read it. They are, at present, my editors and advisers. Once they read it through this last time, I will be forwarding it to a few others to read (and offer advise/edits) and then ... hopefully, I will be able to say, "It's finished!" I think I'm about 85% done.

I am well into the second book in the series and it's going really well. The first book was so long, I had to push some of the chapters into the second book, but it worked out really good with the plot lines.

I work every single day on these books. I'm also doing quite a bit of yard work right now, as it's SPRING in Texas and my poor yard is in need of some attention. So, I write a little and then I go outside and rake some leaves. Then, I go inside and write a little more. It's nice to have my beautiful yard as a temporary distraction.

Isn't he cute? He's my little naked garden boy that keeps me company when I'm out in the yard.

I haven't needed much motivation while writing these books as it's been so much fun and aside from all the leaves and yard work, this has been a good time of year for me to sit down and write. But ... I do have a muse that offers me constant inspiration every day when I write and this is her:

This is a painting my talented daughter, Courtney, did recently for her art class. I keep this painting over my desk.

I think the painting is beautiful, but after I'd written the first novel, I quickly realized that this beautiful girl was the main character in the book.

This is ... Laney.

And ... every single day ... I look into her eyes and I am even more inspired to write her story.

Words Of Encourgement

2009-03-25T11:03:00.000-07:00

I got a call yesterday from our Accountant, Donna. She'd called to verify some information so she could complete our taxes.

Donna and I aren't every-day friends, but I still consider her a friend. She is one of the sweetest people I know and I wish we were closer as I'd love to spend more time with her. We sometimes have lunch together and even though I might only speak to her 3 or 4 times a year, every time we talk it is so comfortable and pleasant.

We talked for a long while yesterday about personal things going on in our lives - mostly about our children. Then she mentioned that my husband, Billy, had mentioned to her that I was writing a book. I felt my heart sink when she said these words. You never know what someone is going to say when they hear you are writing a book. It's often what they don't say that can hurt the most.

Donna, however, was kind. After I offered minor details about my project - my endeavor, she said, "I have so much confidence in you, Kellan. I admire you for focusing on something and going after it - it's so like you. If anyone can accomplish this, you can. I just know you'll do it." Or, something along those lines.

I have to say, this compliment and encouragement touched my heart in way I didn't see coming. She is not someone I know intimately and yet we are sort of kindred spirits that really get along and just like each other. Even though I respect and admire Donna immensely, it wasn't those reasons that encouraged and lifted me up. It was that she was totally honest. She didn't have to say these things and yet she did and I appreciated this boost more than she will ever know.

This sort of support is not easy to come by. Encouragement is something that should be freely given and yet people sometimes are stingy with their words and their support. My family is often skeptical - I can see it in all of their eyes. Some, think I am wasting my time. Some just say nothing at all. Same goes for many of my friends.

Thank you, Donna. I was already moving forward, but every now and then it's nice to get a little motivational push of encouragement and you, my friend, were there when I needed you.

It's A Fun Process

2009-03-16T08:54:00.000-07:00

My girls, Courtney and Chloe, are avid readers. Books to them are as essential to their survival as tacos and Dr. Pepper. This - their love of books and teen stories - is where my motivation and direction stemmed from when writing my most recent novel.

The novel I am writing is Teen Fiction (ages 13-18).

I think, with enormous help from my daughters, we might have found the perfect title for this book (and also for the second, third and fourth in the sequel). I'm very excited about the titles, as I believe they are as important to the books as the characters and the plot. (I'm not disclosing the title just yet - but, hopefully very soon). I know that the title could always change, but I am one of those writers that uses the title to help drive a story. I am SUPER EXCITED about the titles!

I'm well into writing the second book. I'm writing it while I continue to edit and revise the first. My daughters are in the process of reading the first book and offering advise and edits. This has been one of the most exciting parts of writing this story - involving my daughters and ... their willingness and desire to participate and contribute. They have offered many excellent ideas and I love that they want to be involved.

I mentioned before that Courtney and Chloe are artists and plan to study art in college. They are very interested in designing the cover for my book and have already come up with 3 cover designs. I AM SO EXCITED! Their designs are really good and I have copies of these covers hanging above my desk and they motivate me everyday to push forward to finish this novel. I am seriously considering putting these three designs on my blog (and any others they might come up with) to see which you like the best.

I will eventually offer more details about the book, but not just yet. I am tediously editing and revising and until I feel the story is in its final form, I'm going to hold off a little while longer before disclosing what the story is about.

Thanks for supporting me through this process. So far, it has been an enormous amount of work, but ... I am having a BLAST!

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Isn't My New Header FABULOUS?!

2009-03-05T10:33:00.001-08:00

HEY - Look at my cute new header!!! It matches On The Upside and I just love it!!

Lindsay, from SPLAT Designs, is the very talented designer that created the fabulous templates for On The Flipside, as well as On The Upside.

Thanks, Lindsay - You're the BEST!!

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Child ... Pull Me Quickly From This Dark Place

2009-03-04T08:13:00.001-08:00

I have a new post up today on my blog at mySA called Child ... Pull Me Quickly From This Dark Place.

I'll see you over there.

Have a great day.

The New Focus For On The Flipside

2009-03-01T08:00:00.000-08:00

I'm in the process of having my header redesigned for On The Flipside and that's because I am changing the focus of this blog.

On The Upside I write about what's real - about my family, my children and my life.

On The Flipside I will write about the process I've been through writing my most recent novel. I am also planning on publishing excerpts as time goes along.

What I will tell you right now is:

I have completed the first draft (81,445 words, 276 pages).
It is still untitled (but I've narrowed it down to a few I like).
It's Teen Fiction
It will be a series (I've already started on the second book while I'm still tediously editing and re-editing the first).

When I finish this novel (very soon) - I fully intend to find the most excellent literary agent and will then aggressively pursue getting this novel published.

I'd love if you came along for the ride.

Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen

2009-02-28T07:47:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up over on my blog at mySA called Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen.

I hope you take time to go over and read this post about surviving motherhood.

Have a really great weekend.

Got Coke?

2009-02-24T08:26:00.001-08:00

I've got a new post up over at mySA called Got Coke? This is a story about my funny son, if you'd like to stop by and read it.

I hope you have a great day.

Are Your Legs Broken?

2009-02-21T08:37:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up over on my blog at mySA called Are Your Legs Broken? If you have time I'd love for you to visit me over there and stop by a read this silly story about my daughter Chloe.

Have a really great weekend.

Okay ... Next Time I'll Just Drive

2009-02-18T10:17:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up over on my mySA blog called Okay ... Next Time I'll Just Drive. I hope you have time to go over and read this story about surviving motherhood.

Have a great day!!

Her Girls

2009-02-14T12:24:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up over on my blog at mySA called Her Girls. It's a story about my precious Courtney and Chloe.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

He Just Better Snape Up -- Or He's Outta Here

2009-02-11T09:55:00.000-08:00

We have two cats - Banana Pancake is our yellow cat and Snape is our gray long haired tabby. If you're interested in reading a story about our strange cat Snape, head over to my blog at mySA to read today's story - He Just Better Snape Up -- Or He's Outta Here.

Have a great day!

So Many Words - But She Always Has A Favorite

2009-02-06T08:44:00.000-08:00

I'd love to have you stop over at my blog at mySA and read my new post about Alexis: So Many Words - But She Always Has A Favorite.

Thanks so much for stopping by and I hope you have a great weekend.

I Look Up

2009-02-02T12:48:00.000-08:00

I Look Up is a new post I have up over on my blog at mySA if you would like to head over there and read it.

Have a great week and thanks for stopping by.

Strong Foundations

2009-01-28T12:45:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up over on my blog at mySA called Strong Foundations.

I would love to have you come by and visit.

Have a great day!

New Posts

2009-01-26T08:55:00.001-08:00

I have 2 new posts up over at my blog at mySA called My Sweet Boy and M is For - Make Me Laugh.

If you have time, I'd love for you to stop by and read these stories about my sweet children.

I hope you have a great week!

I Had Him Shaking In His Church Shoes

2009-01-22T15:21:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up on my blog at mySA called, I Had Him Shaking In His Church Shoes. I hope you stop by and read this story about Little Billy.

Hope you are having a great week!

Three Syllables - Sounds Like ...

2009-01-16T08:32:00.001-08:00

If you have time, I'd love for you to come by my mySA blog today. I have a new post up called Three Syllables - Sounds Like ...

I hope you go over and read this silly story about my funny twin daughters.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Can We Just Get Past Christmas ... Please!

2009-01-13T06:47:00.000-08:00

I am writing today over at mySA. I have a post up called Can We Just Get Past Christmas ... Please! I hope you go over and read my story about my funny Alexis.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a wonderful day!

Can You Spell S-H-U-T-U-P?

2009-01-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

I have a funny little post up over on my blog at mySA called Can You Spell S-H-U-T-U-P? I hope you go by and read this story about my silly Alexis.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great day!

IT

2009-01-08T08:16:00.000-08:00

I have a new post titled IT up over at mySA blog today, if you would like to go over and read it.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great day!

Where Is Your Mother?

2009-01-06T09:27:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up on my blog over at mySA, called Where Is Your Mother? I hope you go over and check it out.

Have a great week, everyone!!

A DE-LICIOUS Christmas Treat

2008-12-25T14:00:00.001-08:00

I have a Christmas post up over on my blog at mySA called A DE-LICIOUS Christmas Treat. I hope you go over and read this silly Christmas story.

Merry Christmas to you and your families. I hope you have had a wonderful day and all of your children are healthy and happy. Santa and God were very good to the On The Upside family - we are very blessed.

I Must Have Stopped Thinking -- Because I Can NO LONGER HEAR MYSELF!

2008-12-20T09:33:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up on my blog over at mySA called, I Must Have Stopped Thinking --- Because I Can NO LONGER HEAR MYSELF!

I hope you go by read this post about my LOUD family.

Thanks so much for stopping by - I hope you have a great weekend!

They Started Out Perfectly Normal

2008-12-19T07:49:00.000-08:00

Come over to my blog at mySA to read my new post: They Started Out Perfectly Normal - a little story about my teenage twin daughters.

Thanks so much for stopping by. I hope you have a great weekend.

It's Just The Tip Of The Melting Iceberg

2008-12-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up over at mySA called It's Just The Tip Of The Melting Iceberg.

Thanks for stopping by - have a great week!

She Cracks Me Up

2008-12-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up on my blog at mySA called, She Cracks Me Up.

I hope you go over and read this little story about my funny Alexis.

They are working on my blog over there and there is a new comment format - I think it is going to be much better and easier to work with.

Thanks for dropping by - have a great day!

The Journey

2008-12-09T07:39:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up on my blog over at mySA called The Journey. I'd love to see you over there.

Thanks for coming by - have a great day!

Take Everything We Own ... Except

2008-12-05T05:48:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up over at mySA called Take Everything We Own ... Except

I hope you go over and read my post about the item in my life I could not live without. I'd love to hear what your item is.

Hope you had great week - have a great weekend! Thanks for stopping by!

That Boy - He Knows A Little About This And He Knows A Little About That

2008-12-04T15:42:00.001-08:00

I have a new post up over at mySA called That Boy - He Knows A Little About This And He Knows A Little About That.

I hope you go over and read my post about how Little Billy loves nothing but blue jeans.

Hope you are having a great week - thanks for stopping by!

Skip To My Lou, My Little Darling

2008-12-02T07:03:00.001-08:00

I have a new post, Skip To My Lou, My Little Darling - up over at mySA.

I'd love if you went over to read this little story about Alexis.

Have a wonderful day!

My First High-Five

2008-11-29T11:37:00.000-08:00

I have a new weekend post up over at mySA called My First High-Five.

I'd love for you to go over and read this post I wrote about surviving motherhood.

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

I Am No Rachael Ray

2008-11-27T09:30:00.000-08:00

I have a new post up over at mySA called I Am No Rachael Ray.

Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours! Hope you have a wonderful day!

Draw Me An Elf - I'll Keep That

2008-11-20T12:54:00.000-08:00

I'm writing today over at mySA. I have a post up called Draw Me An Elf - I'll Keep That. It's about my childrens' art. I hope you go over and read this post - I'd love to hear what you do with all of your childrens' art.

Thanks for stopping by - Have a great day!!

Who Is Doing All That Yellin'? Oh ... It's Me

2008-11-18T08:38:00.000-08:00

I am writing today over at mySA - post titled, Who Is Doing All That Yellin'? Oh ... It's Me.

I'd love for you to go over and read my post and hear your input on this topic of yelling.

Thanks so much for stopping by - have a great day!

The Friday Folder Girl

2008-11-16T07:58:00.000-08:00

I am writing today over at mySA. I have a post up called The Friday Folder Girl. I hope you go over and read my story about volunteering in Alexis' school.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a fantastic weekend!

The Secret

2008-11-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

I have a new post up on my blog at mySA, called The Secret. It is a post about my twins and I would love if you came over to visit me over there.

Have a good weekend!

Moms In San Antonio

2008-10-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

I am so happy to now also be writing for mySA.com.

This is the website for the San Antonio newspaper - The San Antonio Express News, and also for KENS5 (San Antonio's CBS affiliate).

I will be blogging for mySA in MomsInSA.Com and my blog will be represented there as On The Upside.

I'd love to have you drop over and see my new place and meet all the great folks over at mySA. Today I have a post up called In My Mind -- I Fit Perfectly.

Can I Make My Own Amber Alert?

2008-10-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Jyl of Mommy Gossip.

Jyl wrote this post on her blog (Mommy Gossip) a few of weeks back and I asked her to repost it here On The Flipside because it is a great topic. Read this post and then offer your opinion/answer in the comments. And ... don't forget to go over and visit Jyl's site - she has a great blog and beautiful family. Thanks so much Jyl!

Can I Make My Own Amber Alert?

I live in the desert. No, people here don't have cacti or rocks in their yards, but we certainly do our fair share of praying for rain and when the stunning Rocky Mountains aren't covered with snow, they turn a lovely shade of brown and beg the heavens to part and pour out blessings upon them in the form of tiny liquid drops. We especially love a good rainstorm, because—in addition to the much needed moisture—it allows us to know what we are talking about when we use the phrase "On God's Green Earth."

Yesterday, the seemingly impossible happened: It rained. It even hailed for a few seconds. We missed the sunshine. We missed going boating on Labor Day. And… we missed something far more important than all of that. We missed our kids. But wait! Weren't they just here at home with us a few seconds ago? Where did they go? Where are they?

10 Minutes Before the Rainstorm

The boys said they were going to ride their bikes down to Tator Tot's house to play. The Potato Head Family are great friends of ours and only live two doors down. Our kids play together often, so when the boys mentioned they were heading out the door, I didn't give it another thought and off they went.

10 Minutes Later

THUNDER. LIGHTENING. RAIN. HAIL. Did I say LOUD THUNDER?

I opened the door to see the sky opening, pouring pearls of moisture on our scorched grass. Drops fell so consistently, I was tempted to reach my hand out and part them like clear, plastic beads in the doorway of a 60s teenager's room. I took in the sound, the smell, the breeze as time stood still under the palm tree patio on my oasis front yard. Deciding whether to run through the streets like I did when I was a girl (only this time with my clothes on), my overflowing emotions screeched to a halt when I suddenly realized Red Rover and Chatter Box are very afraid of the thunder. My plans to sing "Purple Rain"—or better yet, "I Love a Rainy Night," because when has rain ever been purple?"—while reliving my childhood were replaced with an immediate call to the neighbors. Bad news... Mrs. Potato Head said she hadn't seen hide nor hair of the boys all morning.

45 Minutes Later

For 45 minutes, T-Daddy drove through the neighborhood with no sight of the boys or their bikes anywhere. No bikes? That scared us. At home base, I called every person I could think of. I asked myself: "Where on God's Green Earth could these boys be?" (See how this phrase comes in handy?) In an attempt to enlist the semi-professionals, I tried calling the people in the hood who were in charge of the emergency phone tree (apparently, the jungle was on vacation too, because no one answered).

At about 35 minutes, the storm stopped and for 10 minutes I waited with baited breath for T-Daddy's call with the boys squealing with laughter as they rode their bikes on the wet streets. I mean how else is the ditty "rain, rain go away, come again another day," supposed to end other than "so we can go outside and play," right? But, when they didn't surface after the storm, I seriously debated whether or not to call the cops and kicked myself for not participating in the local child identity program, where they take pictures of kids to help in these kinds of circumstances. I heard you can't call the cops until a child has been missing for 24 hours, but I was frantic. Then, I started thinking what can happen in 45 minutes to a child. I started to think about Amber Alerts and Elizabeth Smart. I mean, her family doesn't live THAT far from here. So, maybe that means that abductions are even more common in these parts? (I actually thought that!) As I was trying to figure out how to put into action my own Amber Alert, T-Daddy suggested one last family to call.

Sure enough! My boys arrived at this gal's house right as the storm was hitting. They had such a great time playing that they didn't even hear the thunder. They had parked their bikes in her garage, which were impossible to see from the road once she shut the door to keep the water out. What I didn't want to hear was that she had wanted to call us, but we recently changed our cell phone numbers and she didn't know the new ones—neither did our kids nor any of our other neighbors for that matter. SMART! That meant we had to take some accountability. I hate that!

All's well that ends well, right? Sure! The kids were happy and we were alerted to the fact that we are horribly unprepared parents. Learn from experience, right? Still… I have questions rolling around in my head. When do you call the cops? What if the boys had not been at this neighbor's house? What if the unthinkable had happened? A lot can happen in 45 minutes. It made me think and wonder. How do you get your duckies in a row to prepare for such an atrocity? How do you teach your kids about stranger danger so that it really sticks? And, finally, what is the best way to discipline them when they go missing?

Originally Posted by http://mommygossip.blogspot.com9/1/08at 11:52 PM

Halloween Makes Me A Bit Batty

2008-10-14T10:14:00.000-07:00

I don't like to be thought of as a scrooge, but ... I am not a fan of Halloween.

There - I said it!

I do love the little kids in the adorable costumes. Who doesn't love fairies and princesses and cowboys?

I do love the candy!

I do love the spooky music and creepy haunted houses.

So ... what is it about Halloween I don't like?

It's the decorations my kids insist we string and paste and hang up all around our house. Those skeletons and bats and witches and stringy spider webs.

I think it is not so much the theme of Halloween that bugs me so much - but the colors.

The ORANGE and BLACK just does not fit in with my lovely home decor. It CLASHES! It's GAUDY! It messes with my obsessive tendencies and it takes everything in me to visually tolerate the pumpkins sitting on the front porch and the bats hanging in our foyer for weeks at a time.

I still put them out, though. My littlest daughter, Alexis, loves them and for her --- I do it.

Christmas decorations don't tend to bother me as much, but ... those Halloween decorations drive me BATTY!

What about you? Are you like me and hate those darn Halloween decorations or ... are on On The Flipside and LOVE Halloween and LOVE all the decorating with the goblins, pumpkins and bats?

Please don't forget to go over and participate in the poll on this topic.

Poll results: Do You Love Putting Out Halloween Decorations? 12 people participated in poll. 6 (50%) said Yes. 6 (50%) said No.

Taking A Break

2008-10-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a bit of a blogging break. I hope to be back real soon with more fun posts and great guest bloggers.

See you soon - Kellan

What Would You Do If ...?

2008-10-08T07:25:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays, I throw out a question that asks, "What Would You Do If ...?" and I would love to hear - what you would do.

Today, the What Would You Do If question comes from Texan Mama over at Who Put Me In Charge Of These People. She sent me an e-mail about something that happened to her and wondered what other people do in this situation.

Please read Texan Mama's story from her e-mail and then offer your opinion/answer in the comments.

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Oh, something happened to me today and I thought, I wonder what other people would do in this situation...

It's not exactly controversial, but it's a thinker.

I'll just tell ya as it happened to me.

I had just returned from a long day, dropping the kids at school, then to Target to shop, then to Bible study, then finally home at noon. Upon getting home to put away the groceries, I look at the jam I am about to put away in the pantry. I notice the little "popper button" is popped UP. Hmmm, shouldn't it be down? I press it and, yup, it's up. So I go to open the jar and notice a little dent in the side of the metal lid. My immediate thought is, oh, the popper must have popped up when this jar got dropped. I probably dropped it or it banged against something in the van. I open the jar and everything looks brand new and fine. I give it the smell test - pass with flying colors. So, what did I do?

I just put it away in the fridge.

Am I playing roulette with my family's health? Maybe. Could I have returned it and gotten a new one? Dunno, probably. Should I have just thrown it away and chucked up the loss of $2 to being cheaper than a medical bill of hundreds?
Quite possibly.

But I did none of those. I put the jam in the fridge.

Maybe I should go get it now and pitch it....

*Note: Please go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll question on this topic.

Neglected Kid Time

2008-10-06T07:06:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Adrian of Adrian's Crazy Life.

Adrian has written a great post and so graciously agreed to be a Guest Blogger for On The Flipside. Please read her post below and then leave your opinion on this topic in the comments. And, don't forget to go over and visit Adrian at Adrian's Crazy Life. Thanks, Adrian!

Neglected Kid Time

I got to thinking about some of my favorite posts and I realized that I'd never posted one of my favorite essays. This was a post I wrote a couple of years ago on my Utah Divas website. This relates to my Stampin' Up! business, but it really applies to any home business or hobby that we tend to obsess about. Thankfully, since this period in time, I have made a lot of changes and I no longer invest nearly as much time in my stamping as I used to.

I'm writing this at 3:42 AM, so I apologize if it seems a little "unpolished", but I've just had something the Flylady calls a "God breeze". She refers to Him as the "Midnight Editor" and He sometimes sends her little messages and topics for her essays in the middle of the night. The topic I received tonight is "Balance" - you know that thing that Shelli talks a lot about in her little newsletter at the front of our Stampin' Success magazine.

However, a lot of us don't really practice the habit of Balance - I know I don't, which is why I'm sitting up here typing in the middle of the night. As many of you know, I recently lost my mother, which tends to make you step back and take a look at yourself and your life and right now, I don't really like what I see.

I love my Stampin' Up! business, but there definitely is a dark side of it and I've run smack into it tonight. I'm an enthusiastic "all or nothing" type of person and when I throw myself into a new "something" - I tend to throw myself pretty hard and damn the consequences.

In this case the consequences translate into something I called "Neglected Kid Time" or NKT. I look back on how I spent my day today and it's nothing but NKT. Here it was a beautiful, sunny (though chilly!) Saturday and I had my husband and my two wonderful sons right here, waiting to spend some time with me after a looong week of working and yet I sacrificed pretty much the entire day to Stampin' Up!

I had a chance to attend a quarterly downline meeting and even though it wasn't really my downline, I was invited and I decided to attend, even though I had already spent an evening with my Utah Stampin' Divas a couple of days earlier. Tons of fun, and a nice chance to get out with some great girlfriends and make some fun projects, but again a entire evening of Neglected Kid Time as my kids sat home with my husband and probably watched TV all night.

Then I add in travel time, preparation time, making swaps time, and waaaay to much time staring at this computer screen at waaay too many stamping websites like this one and I wonder why I have a couple of grouchy, unruly kids with their rooms a mess and their chores and homework not done - duh!

Then I look around at my house that looks like a bomb went off in every room (if Flylady saw this house right now, she'd turn tail and run right back to North Carolina!). I look at my husband who has watched so much football, I think he has green Astroturf imprinted on his eyeballs and then I look at our two boys who practically have square eye sockets because they've watched so much TV, played so many video games, or spent so much time on their own computer! (Yes - we do have HIS, HERS, and KIDS computers as well as separate TV's for each - that's a big clue right there!) And I think - boy did I screw up again!

I don't know about you, but pretty much all my adult life, I've felt like that guy you see in the circus with the spinning plates. I have all these plates going and they are labeled WORK (my "real" job), KIDS, MARRIAGE, HOUSEWORK, STAMPIN' UP!, CHURCH, a whole bunch of others and even a little tiny one called ME and I realize that I've been spinning the ones called WORK and STAMPIN' UP! so much this whole year that all the other ones are starting to wobble badly and even start to fall.

So what do I do? I have to admit right now, I don't really know. Obviously I'm going to have to stop spinning these two plates so much and go over and give the other ones a few extra spins. But how to keep them in balance for the long term? That's really the $64,000 question, isn't it? Do I reduce the number of plates, or just figure out some great master plan for spinning them all a little more evenly? I don't know - maybe that's not a good question for 4:20 in the morning.

But I do think it's a good time for us all to ask an important question - what are your kids (if you have any) doing while you are reading this message? Hopefully by now, mine are spending some Non-Neglected Kid Time with their one and only, ever lovin' Mom.

Originally posted by Adrian 8/18/08 at 8:00 AM

Please leave a comment and be honest - whether you agree or are On The Flipside on this subject. And, make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to Adrian and to me and to other commenters. And, please go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

What Is She (Really) Thinking?

2008-10-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Texas Mama over at Who Put Me In Charge Of These People.

Texas Mama wrote this great post on September 21, 2008, on her blog and agreed to repost it here On The Flipside. Please read this wonderful post on this very interesting topic and then go over and visit Texas Mama and say hello. Thanks, Texas Mama!

What Is She (Really) Thinking?

Hmm.... just when you're thinking "I have NOTHING to blog about today. I wonder what I'll have to dig up just to keep my readers from yawning." something hits a nerve and POOF! A blog post is born.

We all have one of these friends... you know, the one who really loves you but deep down disagrees with you on some crucial point of your belief system. Maybe it's politics; maybe it's the decision to use dried herbs instead of fresh. Who knows. But you both know to NEVER go there, else the friendship may suffer irreparable damage.

So, I have this friend. Let's call her Pig. Now, please understand, I do not think she is a pig. She, actually, gave herself this nickname because she really likes pigs and used to collect pig things: stuffed animals, figurines, pictures, tee shirts, whatever. I have known Pig since our first days of college when we shared a freshman English class. She was the ying to my yang. She helped me to take life less seriously; I taught her how to compose herself in moments when laughter was not appropriate. Yes, me. I was there for her after her first marriage fell apart. She was there for me when I got married, as one of my bridesmaids. Her son and my daughter are born just weeks apart. She is my daughter's godmother.

So, you get it? We're close. And we have stayed close all these years.

She's also a heavy Democrat. I am a Republican. We both laugh because we both say how our votes are a wash. She lives in Kansas (always goes Republican) and I used to live in IL (always went Democrat). Sometimes I like to get her going by making some comment about liberals, or how we listen to Rush Limbaugh, or I simply mention the name "George W. Bush". She loves to debate politics and I think it infuriates her that I refuse to bend, even a little, towards the middle. Not that she's bending either, but she likes to believe that she can change someone's mind with her powers of persuasion.

Now, I was talking to Pig today and we were discussing a mutual friend from college whose children were grown now and in elementary school. She wondered why the friend had not gone back to work? I explained, well, I believe the friend - let's call her Amy (because that's my most favorite girl name and still, why have I not named any of my girls that name???) - that Amy enjoyed staying home and taking care of the house things, being active in her kids' school, volunteering, etc. Plus, Amy's husband made enough money that she didn't need to work. They weren't rich, but his salary was enough to support the family. Pig went on to say that it just didn't make sense. Why wouldn't a woman want to go back to work? What was the point in staying home?

She continued, while I listened in silence, that SHE took her son to and from school every day. That SHE took days off work when her son had field trips so that she could attend. That SHE took time off work when there was a holiday party at school with which she was helping, and not only did she attend but she baked (not bought) cookies. And, she said, I *do* like my job, but I am busy! I take my son to sports practices. I take him to games. I help him with homework.

I tried to explain, "well, maybe Amy likes staying home with her family. Maybe even if she could go back to work, she would choose not to. I can understand this dilemma if they were suffering financially, but they aren't - so what's the big deal?" And I mentioned, "maybe Amy doesn't understand why in the world you choose to work when your husband could easily support your family on his income alone."

Pig then continued, and I think this may have been the source of her frustration, how she was so SICK of bumping into one particular stay-at-home mom in her subdivision who complains that she's SO TIRED.

Pig says, "What in the hell is she so tired from? She doesn't even see her kids all day because they are at school!! The kids even ride the bus so she doesn't have to drive them either. How lazy is that? I mean, what else does she have to do?"

I was pretty much stunned.

Pig: "Hello? Are you there?"

Me: "Yes, I'm here. I'm just listening."

Pig: "Oh, I'm not talking about you. I mean, you still have a small child at home. And you have 4 kids! I mean, this lady in my subdivision only has 2. And hers are at school all day."

**crickets chirping**

Me: "Okay, well, I don't know what her situation is. So, how was your son's birthday party?" (me, trying to redirect the conversation away from me putting my foot in my mouth)

Now, before you go and start in with "That Pig is a total rag. Drop her like a hot potato!" I must beg you to please restrain yourself. She is a VERY close friend. Just because I don't see the world the same way she does, doesn't mean I don't love her. We have very different views on parenting, which probably is directly related to our difference of opinions on the working/staying home thing.

Now, all day long, I can't stop thinking about this. Is that what Pig thinks about me? What if I had chosen not to go back to work, would she secretly be clucking her tongue at me? Or making snide comments, set up as just playful jabs but really based in truth? I almost feel like, "Thank God I have a baby at home to justify my Stay-At-Home-Mom status."

That continued the spiral... what do I do all day? Could I be doing what I do, and still go out and have a job? Why not? Many women do it and make it work. Many women do it and are really good at it! And, it's true: I don't see my kids a majority of the day (with the exception of the baby). So, should I be doing something more meaningful? Like homeschooling? (Oh, please don't make me do that. I may have to take a full-time job just to avoid it.) Or volunteering at a not-for-profit agency? Or getting a job that I can do from home? Suddenly, my days of clipping coupons, driving around town to get the best deals from various stores on our needed supplies, folding loads of laundry, picking up toys, and ironing Texan Papa's shirts seems very... insignificant. Like I'm wasting time. Like I'm unproductive.

I am so screwed. I take these little scenarios and hold onto them for dear life. My brain exists only to tumble around the different paths my life could take or should have taken. What if I'd done this instead? Would I be richer? Smarter? Someplace different? Would I have more kids? Less kids? Any kids at all?

Now, I know that every time I meet a working mom, I will be afraid that she's thinking the same thing that Pig thinks. I bet I will (subconsciously) mention that I have a baby at home, and she's only about 1 year old - just to make sure it's understood that I *DO* have someone to keep me busy all day. I will probably never act like I'm busy, but rather offer to relieve any burden she may have because, you know, I have so much extra time on my hands.

The funny thing is, I am not being funny. I DO have lots of extra time on my hands. I DO realize that my job is pretty easy. Because of those things, I purposely avoid asking my husband to do any household chores. I try to support him by allowing him to bring home the bacon without any added stress. I'm not saying that I walk around behind him, picking up his socks and wiping his nose. I just mean, I don't tell him that he has to cook dinner once a week, or that he has to fold laundry, or put away toys, etc. (For the record, he does occasionally do those things without being asked, just to be helpful.) And, in turn, he has never asked me to go out and get a job to help with the income. I have had small jobs here and there, but nothing more than what could cover a couple weeks of groceries. But my point is, I do realize that I have a great life. I enjoy staying home. I enjoy being a domestic goddess. I love teaching and one day hope to return to it. But in the mean time, should I apologize for my husband's and my belief that - for us - it's important to have a parent at home while the children are young? Should I feel guilty that I can - and do - go to yoga class, do bible study, write thank-you notes, and take bike rides while other moms are out there earning the Almighty Dollar? No, scratch that. I don't want to know if I should feel guilty. I want to know how I should justify it to my friends, to myself, to society?

Originally posted by http://whoputmeinchargeofthesepeople.blogspot.com/ at 9/21/08 12:01

Please offer your honest opinion on this subject of working moms vs stay-at-home moms, but please follow the comment rules and be nice to Texas Mama, to me and to all those that comment. Also, please go over to my sidebar and participate in the 2 polls on this topic.

Poll results: Do You Feel Like Working Moms Look Down On SAHM? 12 people participated in poll. 3 (25%) said Yes. 1 (8%) said No. 8 (66%) said Some Do. (0) said Most do.

Poll results: Should SAHM Have To Justify Their Choice To Stay Home? 9 people participated. 8 (88%) said No. (0) said Yes. 1 (11%) said In Some Cases.

What Would You Do If ...?

2008-10-01T06:33:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays, I throw out a question that asks, "What Would You Do If ...?" and I would love to hear - what you would do.

I will not give my answer to the What Would You Do If - Wednesday question until late in the day - after everyone has had the opportunity to offer their ideas first.

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What would you do if ...

Your best friend's husband continuously flirted with you? Flirted to the point that it made you uncomfortable? Flirted in a way that was disrespectful to your friend. Flirted like he wants you?

What would you do?

Would you tell your friend?

Would you confront your friend's husband?

Would you ignore the situation and just hope that it stopped?

Would you flirt back?

What would you do?

Please leave your honest answer and then please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

Okay - this is what would I do?

I have not been in this situation, but I did have a situation in high school where my best friend's boyfriend cornered me in a dark room and kissed me. I was shocked and worried and I never told my friend and he and I never talked about it - it just sort of went away. He and my best friend ended up getting married. I don't know what ever happened to them and their marriage, but I have often thought about that "stolen" kiss many times over the years.

I would try to be nice. I would say things (joking) that would make it obvious that I was not interested and that would hopefully make it clear that I didn't think the flirting was respectful to my friend or to me. If he continued and didn't get the hints - I'd confront him and ask him to stop. If he didn't stop - I'd be hesitant to tell my friend for fear that she might not believe me and may even defend her husband. Last resort - I'd have my husband start making remarks to back him off.

I hope this never happens.

Poll results: "What Would You Do If Your Friend's Husband Constantly Flirted With You?" 11 People participated in the poll. (0) said they would tell their friend. 6 (45%) said they would confront the husband and tell him to stop it. 6 (64%) said they would ignore the situation and hope that it would just stopp on its own. (0) said the would flirt back.

I Just Don't Want Breast Milk In ... ANYTHING I EAT!

2008-09-30T09:27:00.000-07:00

So ... there is the story out there about how "PETA wants their breast milk ice cream and they want you to have some too. PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) sent a letter to Ben & Jerry's Homemade Ice Cream requesting that they replace the cow's milk they use to make their famous ice cream with breast milk."

YUCK!

I am all for the ethical treatment of all animals and I am sure that PETA means well and that this is maybe even a realistic and rational, not to mention humane, suggestion, to encouraging the ethical treatment of cows, but ...

YUCK!

I personally do not want breast milk in anything I eat! I have a hard enough time drinking cow's milk ... and I happen to like cow's milk. But, sometimes ... if I get to thinking about the fact that it is cow's milk, I can work myself up into a bit of an ick induced frenzy - if I think about it too much - you know. Meat too, for that matter. I can't think about it too much or I get a little squeamish.

I could never eat ice cream with breast milk - ever! I'm sure that some folks could and wouldn't give it a second thought - not me! I even have a hard time believing that such a thing would ever be considered.

Now ... soy - I could handle. That is a reasonable solution, if you ask me!

What about you?

Are you for this idea?

Would it bother you to know that it was breast milk in your ice cream instead of cow's milk?

Leave me your opinion on this issue in the comments - I'd love to know if you are with me or are On The Flipside on this icky topic!

And, please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll on this subject.

Poll results: Would you eat store bought ice cream made with human breast milk? 16 people participated in poll. (0) said YES. (0) said NO. 16 (100%) said Not On Your Life and (0) answered to If it was my only choice.

Boobs ... Ugh!

2008-09-29T06:05:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Dani from Give Me A Second To Think About It

My good friend, Dani, published this post on her blog and has agreed to repost it here On The Flipside in order to possibly encourage some of my readers to offer guidance. Please offer Dani your advise in the comments and also don't forget to go over and meet Dani and say hello. Thanks, Dani.

Boobs ...Ugh!

i never had them (to speak of), and i never wanted any more than what i didn't already have!!! so, you can only imagine my horror when i turned 35 and they started growing...

LONGER!!!

not only did they grow...

LONGER,

they didn't exactly grow to the same length:/

well, maybe they did intend to grow congruently.. it's just that a couple of years prior, i had to have my left, top rib removed because it was impeding my circulation. my ob/gyn informed me that the surgery is what has caused my incongruency.

so, i decided to have a "boob job". i checked around to find the very best doctor. my ob/gyn referred me. i sat up my appointment...

and, then...

at 2:30 am (6 hours before my appointment)...

I CHICKENED OUT!!!

I COULDN'T DO IT!!!

at 2:30 am... i called the plastic surgeon's office

(knowing i would get his answering service)...

(knowing i wouldn't be asked to reschedule)...

and told the woman that i needed to cancel my appointment. (whew-wee!!! she obliged!!!)

so, now...

i'm back to my original dilemma.

i don't like that i have boobs i never wanted.

i don't like that they hang... LONG!!!

and i HATE that one hangs about 3/4" longer than the other:S

what should i do???

what would you do???

love and blessings, lopsided dani Xx

Originally posted by dani at Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Mommy Wars

2008-09-26T07:05:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Megrynsmom from Look It's Megryn's Mom.

Megrynsmom wrote this post on September 1, 2008 and I asked her to repost it here On The Flipside because it is a great topic. Read this post and then offer your opinion/answer in the comments. And ... don't forget to go over and visit Megrynsmom's site - she has a great blog and beautiful family. Thanks so much Megrynsmom!

Mommy Wars

Appropriately, it all begins on Labor Day. The great debate of whether to be a SAHM or to continue working outside the home.

There are no right or wrong answers here. Sacrifices are made on both sides of the fence and neither of the two choices should make a mom feel superior or inferior.

My mom was a working mom long before I was born. She worked out of necessity while raising two young boys on her own. When she married my dad and had me, she could have easily become a SAHM, however she continued working nights to contribute financially towards the well being of our family.

I have worked since I was 14 years old. I married, worked, had a baby, took a six month leave, returned to work. I worked part time, had another baby, worked part time again. Divorced, worked full time, back to part time, full time yet again. I started working at home out of necessity. When Big Mouse started college, I also took on a part time job to help with tuition and I loved it. Until I got fired. But that cloud had a silver lining as I was able to collect six months of unemployment and take a look at the bigger picture.

A lot happened in that six months, the biggest and bestest being the birth of TOF. Six weeks later, Augie Dawg returned to work, out of necessity. She has entrusted me with what I consider to be my greatest blessing, the day to day care of TOF. I'm working at home again and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Mothering is hard work. No one can make this decision for you. It comes down to doing what is best for your family and I applaud you for your choice.

So tell me how you feel.

Are you a SAHM or do you work outside the home?

What were some of the factors that lead to your decision?

Posted by Megryansmom at 9/1/08 8:20 AM

Please leave a comment/answer and please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

Look How Beautiful I Am!

2008-09-24T20:35:00.001-07:00

Look! Look! Look!.

Look at my beautiful new site!

Once again, Lindsay, over at Designs By Splat, did a fabulous job designing and creating the perfect look for On The Flipside! I just love it and would highly recommend that anyone thinking about redesigning their site definitely go over and talk with Lindsay - she is THE BEST and simply a pleasure to work with!

Thanks so much Lindsay - I just love it!

What Would You Do If ...?

2008-09-23T15:41:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays, I throw out a question that asks, "What Would You Do If ...?" and I would love to hear - what you would

I will not give my answer to the What Would You Do If - Wednesday question until late in the day - after everyone has had the opportunity to offer their ideas first.

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What would you do if ...

Your child informed you that a student in their class was constantly cheating and you knew this child and this child's parents.

Would you ignore the situation and instruct your child to also ignore the situation?

Would you confront the child and suggest to the child that he tell his parents?

Would you go and tell the teacher?

Would you contact the parents and inform them that you have heard that their child is cheating in class?

What would you do?

Please offer your answer in the comments and please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

This is what I would do:

This has never happened to me, but my kids have mentioned many times about kids cheating in their classes - it happens quite often.

If I knew the parents and the child - it would make it awkward. I would not confront my friend or the child - initially. I would suggest to my child that they approach the friend. I would recommend to my child that they should discourage their friend from this behavior and say that if it does not stop that then something will be said to the teacher or the child's parent. If the behavior did not stop - I would go to my friend.

Poll results: If a friend's child shared a class with your child and your child told you that the other child had been cheating in class - what would you do? 11 votes. 3 (27%) said they would ignore situation. 1 (9%) said they would confront the cheating child. 5 (45%) said they would tell the teacher. 2 (18%) said they would contact the child's parents.

Teen Drinking, Sex, Curfews and Partying. (What we do ...)

2008-09-21T10:23:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Carol from Northwest Ladybug

Carol wrote this post last year and agreed to repost it here On The Flipside. This post asks several serious questions about teen issues and Carol offers the answers she came up with to the specific situations. Please read this post and offer your opinion/answer in the comments. Thanks, Carol!

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Teen Drinking, Sex, Curfews and Partying (What we do ...)

A few days ago, I posted 10 hypothetical questions to my faithful readers, asking what you would do in particular situations with teens regarding tough issues, like drinking, sex, parties and curfews. I was waaaay impressed with some of the thoughtful answers I received. Thanks!

Northwest Ladybug's adult kids share a toast -- with their parents' permission -- before Thanksgiving dinner, 2007.

("very occasionally, on holidays spent at home with the family, we're fine with a celebratory beer or glass of wine")

As promised, here is what we did. As I often tell my kids, I have no idea whether we're doing this parenting thing correctly, or even well at all. But I have to believe that the fact that our kids are honest with us, choose to spend time with us, and care what we think is a good indicator. My biggest hope is that they make it to 25 without any major incidents -- which is why we basically only have Two Big Rules. But, as you can tell, there are a whole lot more than two situations that need our attention and our attempts at good parenting... whatever THAT is!

1.) Your boy/girl twin 17 1/2 year olds ask if they can have a few friends over for hot-tubbing, movie watching and a marshmallow roast at your fire pit. "And drinking?" you ask. "Any plans for drinking?" They know that you know that teens (even those who probably aced their SATs that morning) drink. They know that you don't like it. "Likely," they answer. But it's not a drinking party. It's a get together with maybe some drinking." We can either get together here or at someone else's house. You, the parents, are home. How do you answer your kids' question?

We allowed a total of about 10 friends -- although my guess is that at one point there were more like 15 or 20. The group spent a good deal of time around the bonfire outside. We didn't "check on them," except to monitor the noise level out of consideration of our neighbors. We gave permission for friends to spend the night as long as their parents were aware of where they were. I asked that all indications of any get-together (trash, food, etc.) be cleaned up by morning, and it was.

2.) Your 19-year-old son has been going out with someone for over a year. You adore her. He loves her. You know they're having sex, but you haven't had any in-depth conversations with him/them about it. One morning, when you're up early, you see them at the door. She's quietly leaving. Do you say something? What do you say? To whom?

This whole situation just felt silly at that point and that morning I just told them that I was making breakfast and to stick around and join me -- which they did. From then on, they neither snuck nor flaunted. Her family lives just a few blocks from us, her parents are our friends, and all six of us have discussed the issue and agreed that it's "no big deal" if they're sleeping together, as they are obviously committed and in love and being smart regarding birth control. Because she bought a queen-size bed, though, they're hardly ever here anymore! They're now 20, have been together for over three years, both go to school full-time and work close to full-time and the last thing they need is to "have to" get an apartment that they can't afford in order to be together. This way, they can concentrate on school and know that they have a roof -- no, two -- over their heads and parents who put more emphasis on their long-term goals and schooling than on whether or not they're sleeping together. It just felt like the most honest way to go about it.

3.) Your 22-year-old invites her younger siblings, all over 17 but under 21, to a "formal cocktail party" at her house. How do you handle the situation?

We allowed them to go, asked our oldest daughter to "keep an eye on them," and insisted that they spend the night.

4.) Your 17-year-old daughter is a peer health educator with Planned Parenthood. (Teens go to local schools' health classes and educate their peers about many teen health issues, including but in no way limited to, sexuality issues.) In her once-a-week meetings at PP, she has access to condoms and can take as many as she wants. Her Mormon girlfriend, who has been having sex for over a year already, asks her for condoms, which she willingly provides. YOU get a call from the girl's irate mother, an acquaintance of yours, who found a condom in her daughter's car and demanded to know where it came from. How do you handle the call?

I did what most of you suggested: reminded the mom that her daughter was already choosing to have sex and that my daughter was simply contributing to her safety by providing a condom. The mom never spoke to me again; the girls are still dear friends. E's friend is now married, with a baby.

5.) Your 16-year-old daughter confides to you that she and her boyfriend of almost a year have decided to have sex. She asks you not to tell her father. How do you respond?

I told her that I've never had a secret from her dad and didn't want to start now so I suggested that SHE tell him. She did. It was a disaster -- and it took their relationship years to recover from it and negatively affected our marriage (since I believe that my daughter had the more mature approach and attitude about it all). It was a huge mistake to go about it that way and I should have agreed to keep the secret until she was ready to tell him herself. I still regret the way I handled this.

6.) Your 16-year-old's curfew is midnight. She has never missed it. She calls at 10:00 PM, asking if she can spend the night at her girlfriend's house. How do you respond? What if she calls from a guy's house and says that "a bunch of people are spending the night... his parents are home." How do you respond in that case? What if parents aren't home? (How do you know?)

This one is tough. And I deal with it differently now that they're almost 18 than I did a year or two ago. I do ask my kids to call early in the evening -- preferably before 10:00 -- if they're want to request to spend the night somewhere. This tells me that they're planning ahead and "pacing" any drinking, not guzzling and then dealing with things later. (I believe that teens need to "learn to drink" and unfortunately we don't set things up to allow that. Instead, they tend to quickly guzzle to excess.) My biggest concern is that they stay away from any combination of vehicles and alcohol. A year or two ago, I would have (and did) call the home of my kid's friend, ask to talk to parents, etc. But now, I must admit that this is one of those situations in which I count on my kids to be honest, mature and to use good judgement.

7.) You and your husband are having mojitos (cosmos, a beer, a glass of wine... whatever). Your 17 and 20-year-olds ask if you'll make them one. How do you respond? How do you respond if they're with friends?

This one is easy. We will provide them one drink as long as they promise to stay home. We do not supply drinks to their friends. But we do treat our German exchange students as our own kids, partly because we know their traditions in Germany are consistent with our attitudes at home.

8.) Your 15-year-old asks both parents if they ever smoked weed. You both have. How do you respond? (Assuming you answer honestly:) He asks if you liked it. One did, one didn't. How do you respond? He asks if you currently smoke. Neither parents does, but one parent misses it and one doesn't. How do you respond? He then asks which you think is worse for teens -- weed or alcohol. How do you respond?

I hate the stuff -- always have. Tom has smoked, liked it, but no longer smokes at all. We are both honest with our kids about our attitudes and about our past. We remind them that both drinking and weed are illegal for teens, but tell them that alcohol probably causes greater problems in society as a whole because of it's addictive qualities and the dangers of drinking and driving.

9.) Your 15-year-old confides that her 14-year-old cousin, whose parents forbid her to drink, has been drunk numerous times. Do you call the cousin's parent -- your sibling -- and tell them?

10.) Your 16-year-old confides that her 15-year-old cousin, has been having sex. Your child isn't sure if the sex was protected or not. Do you call the cousin's parent -- your sibling -- and tell them?

These two are hypothetical and I'm GLAD they haven't happened! I think that I'd talk with my niece or nephew and encourage him/her to tell parents. But I wouldn't tell them. Nor would I put my child in a situation that risks trust -- cousin-to-cousin or parent-to-child.

One thing I do know now that I've been raising teens: it is anything but easy, there is no one right or wrong way to raise kids (especially teens!), and honest and communication are BY FAR the most important things to preserve in that relationship. If you've lost those, I believe that you're well on your way to losing your connection with your kids. I'd rather know what my teens are doing and deal with it the best I can than not have any clue to what their lives are really like. And, more importantly, I want my kids to be SAFE, and a head-in-the-sand attitude could put them at greater risk. I encourage them to be open and honest, let them know when I agree and disagree with them (boy, do I!), and let go of my need to be right. That one's hard. But so far, at least, they're great kids ("kids"?!) who share their lives with us openly and honestly, so I have to believe that we're doing something right.

Originally posted by Carol at Northwest Ladybug at 10:50 AM 5/8/07

Please offer your honest opinions/answers to these important and thought-provoking issues. And, please be careful to follow the comment rules and be nice to Carol, to me and to other commenters.

What Would You Do If ...?

2008-09-16T20:01:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays, I throw out a question that asks, "What Would You Do If ...?" and I would love to hear - what you would do.

I will not give my answer to the What Would You Do If - Wednesday question until late in the day - after everyone has had the opportunity to offer their ideas first.

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What would you do if ...

You were cleaning out your husband's sock drawer and came across a secret stash of porn magazines or movies?

Would you confront your husband - ask him to throw them out?

Would you leave the stash alone and not mention that you found the porn?

What would you do?

Also, please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll question on this topic.

Okay - what would I do?

I would not be happy upon finding a secret stash and I would want to have a talk about it. I would likely not have it thrown out, but I would want to understand my husband's need to buy it and then hide it. It's the hiding of it that would make me suspicious and uncomfortable - not the owning of it. I understand that some people find these magazines and X-rated movies offensive and some are pretty raunchy - but, I don't have a problem with most of them, as long as they are legal, of course, and not creepy stuff.

Poll Results: If You Found Your Husband's Secret Porn What Would You Do? 21 people participated in poll. 10 (4%) said they would leave it alone. 8(38%) said they would throw it out and 3(14%) said they would ask him to shart it.

Uncle Sam Wants Who?

2008-09-15T13:45:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Jenn from Juggling Life

Jenn wrote this post in April and has so graciously agreed to pull it out of her archives and repost it here On The Flipside. Thanks, Jenn - it's a great topic!

Uncle Sam Wants Who?

Big Red will be turning 18 in a couple of weeks, so he received this in the mail:

Okay, his card isn't quite that large, but you get the picture.

Selective Service Registration

WHO MUST REGISTER

Almost all male U.S. citizens, and male aliens living in the U.S., who are 18 through 25, are required to register with Selective Service. It's important to know that even though he is registered, a man will not automatically be inducted into the military. In a crisis requiring a draft, men would be called in sequence determined by random lottery number and year of birth. Then, they would be examined for mental, physical and moral fitness by the military before being deferred or exempted from military service or inducted into the Armed Forces.

Guess what Grown-up Girl did not get for her 18th birthday? You guessed it--no mandatory Selective Service Registration for her.

Without going into what I think about SSR as a matter of policy, or the odds that we'll ever have a draft again, or my views on war in general, I have to note that only males are required to register. And that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me.

I am a feminist. I happen to be a feminist who has spent my adult life fulfilling a very traditional role, that of stay-at-home-mom and homemaker, but I am a feminist. And as such, I believe that women are capable of doing any job a man can do and deserve every opportunity men have.

If a woman deserves the same rights and opportunities as a man, does it not follow that she should have the same responsibilities? I believe it does. I can't think of a single reason that my son should be expected and possibly ordered to serve his country, but my daughter should not.

I have discussed this with mothers "in real life." What I find is that mothers of only girls are appalled at the idea. Mothers of only boys have never really considered the idea. And mothers who have both boys and girls may be surprised by the idea, but they concede that it does make sense that equal rights should also entail equal responsibilities.

Personally, the idea of any of my children going to war terrifies me. It would be worse if they went because of a draft rather than having entered the military voluntarily. I just can't imagine thinking that it would be acceptable that only our sons bear this burden.

After all, we've come a long way, baby--and sometimes, along with the upside, there's a downside.

Originally posted at Juggling Life 12:46 AM 4/24/08

Please leave your honest opinion whether you agree with Jenn or are On The Flipside on this subject. And, make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to Jenn, to me and to other commenters. And, please go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

What Would You Do If ...?

2008-09-11T07:38:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays, I throw out a question that asks, "What Would You Do If ...?" and I would love to hear - what you would do.

I will not give my answer to the What Would You Do If - Wednesday question until late in the day - after everyone has had the opportunity to offer their ideas first.

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What would you do if ...

Your neighbor - a very good friend - constantly allowed her dog to poop in your yard/on your lawn - without ever cleaning it up and allowed it to happen day after day after day?

Would you just ignore the situation to preserve the friendship.

Would you confront the friend - ask her to STOP IT!

What would you do?

Please go over and participate in the poll question on this topic.

This subject came up on someone's site recently - I wish I could remember who it was. I have never had to deal with this particular problem, but ... it is the sort of thing that I would have a hard time confronting a friend about. I would not be happy about the situation and the friend not being more considerate, but ... I would not be comfortable confronting my friend about this. I might build a fence or put up a sign in my yard. This is sort of the chicken way out of having to address the situation, but I would not want to say anything that might hurt the friendship over something like this. That's just me.

Be Happy With What You Have

2008-09-10T11:28:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Courtney of Quiet Chaos.

Courtney has written a great post and so graciously agreed to be a Guest Blogger for On The Flipside. Please read her post below and then leave your opinion on this topic in the comments. And, don't forget to go over and visit Courtney and her beautiful family at Quiet Chaos. Thanks so much, Courtney!

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Be Happy With What You Have

Why is it that most mothers are not happy with their positions?

Most stay at home moms envy the working moms because they get adult interaction; most working moms would give their right arm to stay home with their kids.

I have been thinking about this lately. I am one working mom that would give her right arm to stay home with her kids, but I also understand the stay at home moms point of view. When I did stay home with Taylor, there were days I wished I did work. For the most part, I was happy being home and being her mom, but there were those days.

I guess the grass is not always greener on the other side. When I did it, I wanted what I have now. Now that I have it I want to go back. I guess I never thought about having to keep up with dishes (no dishwasher), laundry, house cleaning and still have time to spend with my kids. I thought (I was dreaming I know) that I could go to work, pick up my kids after and play with them all night. I guess I thought dinner would make itself, laundry would all ready be done by the laundry fairy, and those dishes? They would magically get done while I was sleeping or we would use paper plates, cutlery, cups and napkins. That doesn't even include the bathing of children and having two little girls that need their hair done.

I fortunately have an amazing husband who does not hesitate to jump in and do his fair share. He used to do all the dishes and fold the laundry, as well as, helping me clean on the weekends. I would do all the laundry, cooking and bathing. Now that he is in school I fold the laundry now and do the dishes when he doesn't get a chance to. He does a lot on the weekends for me, but it is still tiring for both of us. I know I am extremely lucky because none of my friends husbands really help them out whether they work or not. Some do a little bit, but I constantly hear, "Can I just trade you husbands only for a couple days?"

I have a little plaque that hangs above the entry way leading from the living room to the dining room that says it best, "Be Happy With What You Have." I am going to make a conscience effort to make this my personal motto and not complain about how I want so desperately to stay home. I am going to be grateful that I have a job. I may not always like it, but it pays well and many people do not have jobs. I have a boss that is flexible when he wants to be so I am going to remember those times not the times that he isn't. I have a wonderful, (sorta) healthy family who loves me unconditionally and a great support system. I challenge you all to leave in the comments the wonderful things about your life.

Originally posted by Courtney at 6/20/08 at 9:04 AM

So, what about you - Are you a stay-at-home-mom that often wishes you could return to work? Or, are you a working mom that often wishes you could stay home? Or, are lucky to be doing just what you want - right where you want to be?

Please offer your opinion on this topic and make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to Courtney and to me and to all others that comment. And, please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll question on this subject.

Poll results: If You Could Change Your Life Would You ... 16 people participated in poll. 2 (12%) said they would quit working to stay home with their kids. 0 said they would go back to work full-time. 3 (18%) said they would go back to work at least part-time. 11 (68%) said they loved their life just as it was.

I Need A Tattoo That Says - Cool Mom

2008-09-08T07:19:00.000-07:00

My twin daughters and I have had discussions lately about tattoos.

They have both indicated wanting to get a tattoo at some point in their lives.

How do you think I feel about this?

Do you think I'm like my mother and I HATE them?

Or ...

Do you think I am hip and with-it and am cool about tattoos?

I don't know why, exactly --- but ... I'm okay with tattoos.

I guess it's the hippie in me - the 70's influence - the fact that I am a product of peace signs and groovy music - generation. I'm cool!

I'm not totally cool with the tattooing everywhere - you know - for females, especially. Like all over the arms and legs and backs and chests. But ... a tattoo or two, doesn't bother me.

As a matter of fact - I rather like the band tattoos around the arms - a small butterfly on the ankle and even those "tramp-stamps" on the lower back.

I will be encouraging my girls/kids to hold off on actually getting any tattoos for as long as possible (while they live under my roof), but ...

I'm cool with it.

Sorry Mom!

This is JUST my opinion - what do you think? Are you cool about tattoos or are you ... On The Flipside?

Give me your most honest opinion - whether you agree with me or have a FLIPSIDE view. But, please make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to me and other commenter's. And please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

Poll results: How Do You Feel About Tattoos? 4(33%) said they don't like tattoos.. 7 (58%) said they are okay with one or two. 0% said they like lots of tattoos. 1 (8%) said they have tattoos and love them.

Teens Will Be Teens?

2008-09-04T07:16:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Jenn from Juggling Life

Jenn wrote this post in April and has agreed to pull it out of her archives and repost it here On The Flipside. This is a great topic - thanks Jenn!

Teens Will Be Teens?

Since I have three teenagers at home (17, 15, 13), one of my main motherly duties is checking up on my kids. Danger Boy calls it spying; Mr. Fix-it and I like to call it parenting. Big Red is in the final semester of his senior year. He doesn't tell me much of what's going on (okay, he tells me nothing), but I hear things through the grapevine. I've got a friend whose son actually likes to dish! Right now the high school party circuit is in full swing.

What's shocking to me is how many parents accept that teenage drinking is inevitable. If not openly condoned, it is certainly winked at. Don't ask, don't tell is the de facto policy among many of the parents in my neighborhood. "Just as long as they don't drive . . ." "I'd rather have them be safe at home . . ." "We did it when we were kids."

Does this look familiar to anyone?

Yes, many of us did. I am one of the many that started drinking in my senior year of high school. Today I look back on the risks and I took and I cannot fathom not trying to prevent my kids from making the same stupid mistakes I did. I got lucky. Lucky is not a parenting plan in my book. If you need more convincing than the memory of your own misspent youth, check out this Washington Post article.

Big Red and I have a running joke about partying. I tell him "It's your job to try and my job to stop you. You do your job and I'll do mine." The result has been that, although we've had a couple of incidents, for the most part he just doesn't go out much. I was pretty pleased when the phone calls started flying about a drinking party not too long ago. When I got the call asking where my son was, I was happy to be able to say, "Sitting here next to me."

So many parents worry about their kids being made fun of, or of them not being popular, that they let them go to parties when they know there will be drinking. Not me. I will bust your ass in a heartbeat if I think you're stepping off the line when it comes to drinking or any other drugs. And it's not like he doesn't have friends, he does. I'm sure he is sometimes places where underage drinking and other illicit activities are happening--but he can always use the fallback of his overprotective parents and their nosy ways as an excuse not to partake. Of course this means that I frequently have to wake up at midnight on a Saturday night and have a coherent conversation while we stare deeply into each other's eyes and I slyly sniff. It's not just the babies that interrupt your sleep!

I'm sure he's not going to be an angel when he heads off to Colorado State this August. I'm not even sure I want him to be a total innocent. I do think that not having his brain chemistry changed at the age of 15 or 16 by weekend drinking will have left him with a lot better judgement than if he had been chemically altering his consciousness these last couple of years.

BTW, I'm pretty upfront with my kids about my early party days. Not in graphic detail, but just enough so that they know that whatever they might think about doing I already did; and I surely know what it looks and smells like, so don't even try it. Of course, I'm not all reefer madness or anything. My point of view is that no one ever said "Wow, I'm really drunk (or stoned), I think I'll study and get ahead in life."

What's the blogospheropinion on this?

Originally Posted at Juggling Life 01:41 AM 4/3/08

Please offer your honest opinion/answer, whether you agree with Jenn or are On The Flipside. And, remember to follow the comment rules and be nice to Jenn, to me and to the other commenters. And ... please remember to go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

Poll results: How Do You Feel About Teens Drinking? 20 People too poll. 9 (45%) said they don't think teens should drink. 0 said they felt it was okay of teens drink. 2 (10%) said it was okay if teens drink as long as they were around the parents. 9 (45%) said they wished teens would never drink at all.

Salon Talk

2008-09-02T06:53:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Forgetfulone

Forgetfulone posted this post on her blog on 7/10/08 (http://forgetfulone.blogspot.com/2008/07/salon-talk.html) and she has now agreed to repost it here On The Flipside and be today's Guest Blogger - Thanks so much Forgetfulone!

Please read her post below and then offer your opinion in the comments. And ... make sure you go by and visit her blog (Forgetfulone).

Salon Talk

Are you an independent salon girl, a Toni & Guy or Visible Changes gal, a Supercuts girl, or somewhere in between?

I've been all of the above, but I prefer the independent salons. There is a locally owned salon here called Menchaca's. They have four or five locations, but they are not a nationwide chain. The owner does my hair, and he's fabulous. It can be rather pricey, though. I've learned the hard way that it's worth every penny!

My step-daughter has had a really awful haircut at Supercuts. My 12 year old son has had a bad haircut at TGF Haircutters. And I had the worst experience recently at Fantastic Sam's. Now, I realize not all of the stylists at these places are bad. In fact, most of them are fine. But just before we went on vacation last month, I decided I needed a hair cut. I didn't have an appointment at Menchaca's, I wanted to save money, and I needed my hair cut NOW. Next time, I will simply either wait or plan ahead better.

I wanted a really small section of bangs (I don't think I look good without bangs). I have a huge chunk of bangs now, and I am still having to cut them to even them up. They are so completely jagged! The stylist asked if I wanted the sides tapered to the front. I told her no. I wanted a blunt cut. Guess what? She tapered the front! I am old enough to know how I want my hair styled! I have thin, baby fine hair, and I know what works and what doesn't.

I will give some freedom to my regular stylist, but when I go somewhere new or unknown, I don't want that person to experiment on my hair. In a few weeks, I plan to go to my regular stylist and beg his forgiveness for letting someone else touch my hair. I know he'll be able to make things right. I found out the hard way that it is worth it to be patient and to spend the extra money to get a decent cut. It's true that you get what you pay for!

Originally posted by forgetfulone at 2:40 PM 07/10/08

What do you think? Have you had good or bad experiences with "quick-cut" hair salons? Do you prefer small salons? Are you okay paying more for a beautician you trust?

Please give your opinion/experiences. And, make sure you go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

Poll results: When You Have Your Hair Cut Which Do You Prefer? 15 people participated in poll. 3 (20%) said they preferred an expensive salon. 3 (20%) said they preferred the "quick cut" type salons. 7 (46%) said they 2 (13%) had a friend cut their hair. 0 said they cut their hair themselves. 2 (13%) said that it didn't matter much to them where they got their hair cut.

Mama's Darling Little THIEF

2008-09-01T08:26:00.000-07:00

I have 4 children.

I have dragged these four children into many, many stores - over the years.

I have been to Target.

I have been to Wal-Mart.

I have been to Dillards and Marshalls and Toys R Us.

I have - on an occasion or two - unloaded a child from a shopping cart or stroller - or moved a child from the van to the house - and ...

FOUND A TOY OR PIECE OF CANDY THAT MY CHILD HAS ... STOLEN FROM THE STORE!

It's happened.

I've pushed a few shopping carts and toddler strollers ... back into a store or two - to return ... STOLEN toys or candy.

I have.

What about you?

Has this happened with one of your kids?

What do you do?

Do you return the STOLEN toys or candy? Or ... are you On The Flipside and and blow it off (I've done that a time or two, as well)?

Please go over to the sidebar and answer the poll question on this subject.

Poll results: If Your Child Swipes Something From A Store What Do You do? 15 People participated in poll. 13 (86%) said they would immediately return the item. 0 said they would blow it off and go on home. 2 (13%) said they've done both - immediately returned the item and also blown it off and gone on home.

Still Looking For More Guest Bloggers

2008-08-29T22:27:00.000-07:00

Don't forget - if you are interested in guest blogging here at On The Flipside - I'd love to hear your idea for a post or review a post from your archives to re-post here. Just e-mail me at ontheupsideblog@aol.com.

I have been so thrilled with all the great guest bloggers I have had so far that have offered wonderful topics and fabulous posts.

Also ... I am guest blogging over at Motherscribe on Saturday. I have pulled one of my favorite posts from my archives and offered it to JCK when she asked me to guest blog while she is on vacation. Go on over there - it might be a post you have not read and while you are there - take some time to enjoy JCK's wonderful stories and poems and writing - she's brilliant! And ... she's had some other wonderful bloggers guest posting during the week - check them out too!

Have a great weekend!

I've got a new post up over On The Upside - go on over.

Mind Versus Heart

2008-08-28T07:37:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Tania from Little Sweethearts

Tania wrote this post in Feb. 2008 and I asked her to repost it here On The Flipside because it is a great topic. Read Tania's post and then offer your opinion/answer in the comments. And ... don't forget to go over and visit Tania at Little Sweethearts - she has a great blog and beautiful family.

Mind Versus Heart

When my mind speaks it says:

you have two healthy children

a boy and a girl

they get along well most of the time

they each have their own room

they both go to school

there are no diapers to be changed

no bottles to be cleaned

hardly any broken nights

When my heart speaks it says:

why not one more?

It is weird how sometimes the heart can cloud the mind.

Originally Posted by Little Sweethearts at 19:53 2/18/08

So ... What do you think? Are two kids enough? Do you often have the urge to have more children? What are the advantages/disadvantages to having two children verses having more and vise versa?

Offer your honest opinion and don't forget to go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

Poll results: Do you often want more children? 24 people participated in poll. 6 (25%) said Yes - Definitely. 10 (41%) said Sometimes. 5 (20%) said No. 3 (12%) said Not on your life.

What Would You Do If ..."

2008-08-27T07:32:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays, I throw out a question that asks, "What Would You Do If ...?" and I would love to hear - what you would do.

I will not give my answer to the What Would You Do If - Wednesday question until late in the day - after everyone has had the opportunity to offer their ideas first.

*****************************************

What would you do if ...

Your mother-in-law came into your home and constantly made comments on the poor job you were doing of raising your kids or ... constantly tried to give advise on how to do things better?

Would you confront her - ask her to butt out?

Would you just ignore the situation and go on doing things as you wish.

Would you ask your husband to confront his mother about being out of line?

What would you do?

I'm anxious to hear your answer - to see if you would do what I would do or are ... On The Flipside.

Also, please go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this subject.

Now, what I would do:

My MIL and I don't see each other often - thank goodness. She has - on more than one occasion - voiced opinions that I found to be offensive or hurtful and I have never hesitated to tell her, in return, what I thought about her opinion or suggestion. I have also often depended on my husband to intervene on my behalf when I have had the lack of energy or desire to deal with her. I am lucky to have a fabulous FIL, but my MIL needs to keep her distance and keep her mouth shut. She knows well enough by now.

Poll results: If Your MIL Constantly Interfered What Would You Do? 21 people participated in the poll. 6 (28%) said they would confront her. 2 (9%) said they would ignore the situation. 13 (61%) said they would ask their husband to get his mother to back off.

Afflenza - The New Epidemic

2008-08-26T07:12:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Adrian of Adrian's Crazy Life

Adrian has written a great post and so graciously agreed to be a Guest Blogger for On The Flipside. Please read her post below and then leave your opinion on this topic in the comments. And, don't forget to go over and visit Adrian at Adrian's Crazy Life. Thanks, Adrian!

Affluenza - The New Epidemic

Be honest - have you ever bought something expensive and then hid it from your husband or lied about it? I think "Affluenza" or over shopping has become something of an epidemic among women lately. For some people it's shoes or clothes, for others it's pretty things for the home, or craft and hobby supplies.

Because I run a rubber stamping and scrap booking business, I've seen this up close and personal. I've had customers buy products from me that I know they aren't going to use and some of them boast of hiding their purchases from their husbands. I've even seen T-shirts - "I can have all the scrap booking products I can hide".

A friend of mine had a customer purchase $900 worth of stamps in her first order. Now, how can you possibly use that much stuff? I guarantee you those stamps are sitting in a closet somewhere gathering dust. I don't even have $900 worth of stuff and I run a business where I use mine constantly.

I guess I'm more sensitive to the husband thing because I've been on the receiving end of it. I'm very proud that I've never lied to my husband about ANYTHING in our 25 year marriage. If I buy something and he asks about it, I'm very up front about it. Here's what I bought and here's what I paid for it - if he doesn't like it, too bad. But he hasn't always been that way with me. One time, he bought some expensive camera equipment on a credit account and hid the bills from me for months. When I finally did find out, I was furious!

So how 'bout you? Do you suffer from "Affluenza"? If so, do you hide it from your husband or significant other? Why? How do you justify it and what problems does it create for you?

Please be honest - whether you agree or are On The Flipside, and make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to Adrian and to me and to other commenters. And, please go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

Poll results: Have You Ever Bought Something Expensive And Then Hid It From Your Husband Or Lied About It? 8 people participated in poll. 2 (25%) said Yes- Sometimes and 6 (75%) said No.

People Have All Sorts Of Pets

2008-08-25T06:38:00.000-07:00

People have all sorts of pets - all sorts!

I'm okay with having dogs and cats and fish. Maybe a turtle or a hamster in a cage.

Aside from these critters - I am not one of those people that is okay - with ...

Oh ...

Pet skunks - PEW!

Or ... pet bats - EEEEEEEK! I find it hard to believe that people even keep bats as pets!

Or ... underground farm animals such as ground hogs - that should still be living underground behind a barn or out on the prairie on a farm!

Or ... over sized animals like llamas - even if they do look soft and cuddly and have cute faces and wear diapers.

I don't even have to explain why I would never let these creatures into my house!

Oooooo - how did you get in here? You are precious and I'd be okay with you!

Not you, though - NOPE - no ferrets in my house.

Now ... I would love to have me one of these tiny little miniature horses - but then I'd have to go into the country to buy hay and feed and I'd have to build a tiny little barn in my back yard - scoop up poop - NOPE! No tiny horses for us!

I'm not sure what kind of chicken this is - but he is awfully cute. I still would not want pet chickens in our coop!

Or ducks in our pool!

Or goats!

Or enormous PIGS!

Or MICE that make friends with the cats!

Or ... RATS - Good Lord - somebody needs to get that kid OUTTA THERE!

And - of course - NO ROACHES of ANY SPECIES - EVER!

Or SNAKES - unless I get this girl's body to replace mine - to go along with this pretty yellow snake!

And - NO prehistoric looking green iguanas in my bathtub - thankyouverymuch!

Or bat-like-squirrels flying through the den!

And ... no monkeys either! Even if they do look like people we know!

No ... we will be sticking with the normal household pets like cats and dogs and fish.

But ... this is just me.

How about you?

Are you like me and sort of conservative when it comes to your idea of an acceptable pet - or ...

Are you livin' on the wild side - On The Flipside - with what you believe is an appropriate or fun pet for your family?

Please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

Poll results: What Kind Of Pets Do You Like? 9 people participated. 7 (70%) said cats & dogs & fish. 0% said exotic animals. 1 (1%) said farm animals. 0% said reptitles. 1 (1%) said small animals in cages.

Have A Great Weekend!

2008-08-22T21:08:00.000-07:00

Lots going on this weekend.

Kids start school on Monday and we are in for a busy weekend.

Will be back with a new post on Monday.

Have a great weekend!!

The Talk

2008-08-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Brenda from What's Up Down South

Brenda originally wrote this post in June of 2006 and has pulled it out of her archives for all of us to enjoy and discuss - thanks Brenda.

The Talk

After paying my dollar at the gate at the ballpark on Monday, and watching the last bit of the game before Zach's, we found out that the team they were to play didn't have all their players so it was to be a forfeit. The coaches decided not to waste the empty ball field so they kept them there to practice. The mommies and couple of grandmas sitting around holding the bleachers down passed the time away by discussing the problems of the world.

And a few more things.

I'm not sure what route we took to get from the dangers of ATVs to "THE TALK" but we stumbled upon it somehow and it really got lively there for awhile.

One young mother told us of the wisdom of her 5 yr old daughter concerning the male anatomy. "Dogs poop out of their tails but boys pee out of theirs, except for Poppa, he doesn't have a tail." She went on to tell us that when she told her father of this revelation, he said, "Well I have to sit to pee when she's in the house because she stays on my heels and I can't get away from her!"

A couple of the young moms said that their boys didn't know anything about sex yet and they hadn't had "THE TALK" with them because they hadn't asked any questions yet. Myself and the other grandmother in the group informed them that it wasn't wise to wait until they asked because they were in school with other little boys who were certain they knew all there was to know about sex, and were glad to share the knowledge, so they probably already knew all they thought they'd need to know about it. This passed on knowledge is not commonly found printed in the health books of any generation.

I felt obliged to also inform them if they had plans for their husbands to have "THE TALK" with their boys, they should first have "THE TALK" with their husbands because a man's idea of "THE TALK" could also not be common knowledge found in the printed health books of most generations because they'd very likely learned all their facts from the same sort of little know-it-all youngun when they were growing up.

Before we knew it, practice was over and it was time to pack up and go home.

Originally posted by Brenda at 6/08/2006 10:11:00 AM (http://whatsupdownsouth.blogspot.com/2006/06/talk.html#links )

So ... what do you think? Do you agree with Brenda and feel that children should be told about sex before they hear random and even possibly bizarre explanations from friends at school or are you On The Flipside and feel that when they ask - is soon enough?

Give you honest opinion, but be sure to follow the comment rules and be nice to Brenda, me and to other commenters. And, please go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this subject.

Poll results: Should You Have "The Talk" With Your Child Before They Start Seeing/Hearing Things From Other Kids Or On TV? 13 (100%) took poll and 13 said YES.

Should Kids Be Rewarded For Good Grades?

2008-08-19T08:42:00.000-07:00

I was never a good student.

I'm still not all that smart and sometimes have no clue how I made it through courses like history, geometry and chemistry.

My kids are all good students. All are smart and care about succeeding in school and making good grades.

I don't believe it has anything to do with rewarding them for their good grades - but ... we do it!

We have never had a report card, yet, from any of our kids, where their grades were a problem, so we have not been confronted with the "not rewarding" because there were poor grades. But ... we still offer a reward when the report card shows good grades (A's and B's).

I guess my feeling has always been that school is their job. They need to approach it as a duty - a commitment, and if they do it successfully - do it well - then the pay-off will be that their academic success will provide them greater opportunities.

And ... if I see that my kids are putting forth tremendous time and effort and being successful, then I want them to know that we appreciate their hard work - therefore, we offer a reward.

My twins usually request books as their reward. My son sometimes wants a new video game or a special toy - as does Alexis. We usually let them specify what they would like and either agree that their choice is perfectly appropriate (in price, etc.) or not.

My kids have come to appreciate these rewards - not expect them. There has even been times where they will say, "There's not anything I really want, right now."

This is just how we handle grades in our house - what about you? Are you FOR giving rewards for grades or are you On The Flipside?

Poll results: Should Children Be Rewarded For Good Grades? 11 People took the poll and 11 (100%) said Yes.

Profiling Is The Pits

2008-08-18T07:13:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Nancy from Marie Millard

Nancy wrote a very interesting post on her blog in February about Pit Bulls. Please read her post and then feel free to offer your opinion on this subject in the comments.

Profiling Is The Pits

I've posted photos of my son's Pit Bull, Bently. I know some people have definite fears and opinions of Pit's. Bently has been well trained and is a loving dog.

I was just reading about the dogs that were rescued from ex-NFL Player, Michael Vick's house. 22 were saved and are living and being rehabilitated at a rescue sanctuary.

With any dog that is not trained properly or has suffered abuse, there will be horror stories. The Pit seems to be the latest that gets a bad rap. And yes, there have been some awful incidents involving them. There are also incidents from many other breeds. Blame the ignorance of the owner, not the animal.

I remember years ago, when it was the Doberman or German Shepherd to fear. Then it was Rottweiler's. Now Pit's. A dog can be trained to attack and protect, but are also trained to listen to a command. Police and rescue dogs are a perfect example. Fear the people that keep and breed these dogs with cruel intentions.

The back-alley-breeder-gangsta-wannabe's are just ignorant. The Mike Vick's of the dog fight rings are just as ignorant. Mike's sentence of 23 months isn't enough. I hope his career is over too.

Do you know what a pit looks like? Most people see a big, mean looking, muscular, stocky dog and assume it's a Pit Bull.There is only one American Pit Bull Terrier in the photos below. What's your guess? Click on the photo and see if you're right. Leave the number of your first guess in the comment section please.

1	2	3	4
5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20

(photos from pitbullsontheweb.com)

Remember "Petey" from the "Little Rascals"?
A Pit

Originally Posted by Nancy (Marie Millard) at 5:42 AM 2/4/08

What do you think? Are you one of those people that is afraid of Pit Bulls because you have had honest to goodness negative experiences with this breed or ... just because of the "bad rap" they have been given?

Please offer your honest opinion, whether you agree with Nancy or are On The Flipside with regard to Pit Bulls. But ... please be sure to follow the comment rules and be nice to Nancy and to me and to all other commenters. And, don't forget to go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this subject.

Thanks Nancy for this great post and for being Guest Blogger On The Flipside!

Poll results: Do You Think Pit Bulls Are A Dangerous Breed? 21 People took poll. 11 (52%) Said Yes. 1 (4%) Said No. 9 (42%) Said it depends on how the dog is raised.

My Blogs

2008-08-15T14:20:00.000-07:00

I just want to say ... I am thoroughly enjoying this new blog and especially because I have had several fabulous Guest Bloggers. I have many upcoming posts that will also be featuring wonderful Guest Bloggers. I love having others contribute their topics and posts and if you have the desire to be a Guest Blogger On The Flipside - please look through your archives and find a post that might fit in here (a subject/topic that asks a question or is controversial or has an interesting spin on the topic that maybe most people would agree/disagree with) or e-mail me with a topic you would like to post about. You can e-mail me at ontheupsideblog@aol.com.

Even if you don't have the desire to be a Guest Blogger - please continue to come by.

Also ... I have another blog I am planning on starting pretty soon - called On The Darkside. I have several ideas about what I want this blog to focus on ... but ... I would like to hear your thoughts. What do you imagine the focus will be of this new blog? I am curious to hear what you think.

Thanks to all of you that are my friends and loyal readers. I appreciate the time you take out of your busy lives to come by my blogs to read and leave comments - to say hello - to support me. I know I have not been by many of your sites in a while, but ... once school starts I am hoping to have more time to get back to visiting, reading and commenting - more often!

It's Too Late For Me

2008-08-15T07:01:00.000-07:00

On Good Morning American a while back, there was a story about this college and how it is now offering degrees in Homemaking and it is offered exclusively to women.

They, of course, had a representative from the college on the show, and they also had this woman (writer) who had an opposing view.

I'm not sure how I feel about this - classes that teach women how to be homemakers.

I guess it's a good idea.

I know that I have been doing it for a very long time and I am quite the failure sometimes - I could have probably used such a degree. It's too late for me - I neither have the time, money or inclination to continue educating myself, nor do I think I would be the most receptive student. I already accept that I've long since reached my level of incompetence - I don't need some university professor to remind me of it day in and day out.

Once, when my son was small, he came from the family room after watching an episode of The Brady Bunch on TV. He walked up to me, stood directly in my path and asked, "Who's our housekeeper?" in a tone that implied that we surely must have one and he couldn't understand why he had never run into her. I looked down into his sweet little face and said, with my hands planted firmly on my hips, "You're lookin' at her." He turned and walked away, unimpressed.

I know one thing for sure ... degree or no degree ... it is the hardest job on earth!!

Another thing ... a degree is not going to get you anymore money - as we all know ... there is no salary. And telling someone that you graduated from "XYZ University" with a degree in Homemaking - just sounds a bit ridiculous. It's already difficult enough to say, "Oh ... me, I don't do anything ... I just stay home with my kids." Imagine trying to convince people that you actually spent the time and money to get a degree in the field. Imagine the thoughts that would go through their minds. Imagine how many times your name would come up at parties after this discussion.

I guess it's like a degree in Home Economics and eventually it'll catch on and people will respect such a degree. But ... I'm not impressed. I had to learn the old-fashion way ... sink or swim ... like my mother before me and hers before her.

I guess ... a degree is a degree. If some women feel the need to pursue such a degree - let them. In the future, when you go into the homes of these Homemaker graduates I'm sure they will have those prestigious degrees mounted on the wall in their foyers for everyone to see.

It may not make the job anymore legitimate, but ...those women will certainly have something to point to when their kids ask, "What's your job anyway?" And they will ask!

This is JUST my opinion. What do you think? Are you with me and don't see this degree ever much catching on or are you ... On The Flipside and feel this sort of education is a good idea and will become a common sought-after degree in the future?

Poll Results: What Do You Think About Degrees In Home Making? 5 People took poll. 3 (60%) thought it was a great idea. 1 (2%) thought it was a bad idea. 1 (2%) Will never catch on.

Lingerie

2008-08-14T06:56:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Truth from Piece of the Puzzle.

Truth wrote an interesting post on her site on 8/5/08 about lingerie and agreed to repost it her On The Upside - Thanks Truth!

Please read her fun post below and then I'd love to hear your opinion.

Lingerie

An invitation arrived in the mail. A Lingerie Shower.

The intention of a bridal shower is to aid the newlywed couple as they establish their own home The lingerie concept enables the bride to ditch her old, tattered, worn-out undergarments for pretty, new ones. After all, the new hubby will soon be privy to every hidden article of clothing his lovely bride could previously hide.

Or do young ladies today not keep tattered underwear and desire more, um, exotic under clothes and night wear? Years ago, we had two choices in underwear: briefs or bikini cut. That's it. With such variety, I figured I should ask what the preference might be. Surely there could be no embarrassment. The invitation already listed a bra & panty size. But wait, maybe the groom should get an opinion. I sent a text message to my son, Christopher.

"I know this is awkward, but I'm going shopping for Lauren's Lingerie Shower. Do you have any preference?" I waited for his reply.

"Mom. There is no way I'm going to discuss lingerie preferences with you."

I laughed and laughed. I suppose this is not unlike the shocking realization that your parents have had sex at least once in their lives.

Originally Posted by truth at 9:36 AM 8/05/08 on Piece of the Puzzle

I'd love to hear your opinion. Do you think men care about what lingerie women wear or is it really only the woman that cares?

Do you like lingerie? Buy a lot? Spend lots of money on lingerie?

Please leave a comment, but please follow the comment rules and be nice to me and to Truth and to other commenters. And, please go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

Poll results: Do Men Really Care What Lingerie Women Wear? 11 People tool poll. 7 (63%) said YES. 1 (9%) said NO. 3 (27%) said some men care.

What Would You Do If ...?

2008-08-13T08:08:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays, I throw out a question that asks, "What Would You Do If ...?" and I would love to hear - what you would do.

I will not give my answer to the What Would You Do If - Wednesday question until late in the day - after everyone has had the opportunity to offer their ideas first.

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What Would You Do If ...

Your neighbor - a middle aged man - routinely bathed in the nude in his back yard and the only thing between you and your nudest neighbor - was a chain linked fence?

Would you just ignore the situation?

Would you approach the neighbor and address the situation?

What would you do?

I'm curious to see how you would handle this situation - to see if you would handle it the same way I would or if you are On The Flipside.

Please answer honestly. And, please go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll question on this topic.

This is what I think:

This situation happened to my mother - but it was not a chain link fence - it was a wood fence (thank goodness) between her and her male neighbor. She was still able to see in his yard and she saw this guy - once or twice a week - but, left him alone - avoided looking towards his yard when she was out back in hers.

If I had a neighbor doing this and all there was was a chained link fence - I'd give the situation a little time - see if he grew out of this nudest phase - and if he did not - I'd ask him to STOP or ask him to build a privacy fence or plant some shrubs!

If he would not stop or build a fence or plant some shrubs - I'd call the police. I wouldn't allow his desire to sun bathe nude to infringe on my rights to enjoy my back yard. I think this sort of thing does make people uncomfortable and is also a problem if there are children around. I think if someone has the desire to sun bathe nude in their yard - they should be able to do that - but ... there should be a high enough privacy fence around them so others don't have to see "it".

Poll results: What Would You Do If Your Male Neighbor Insisted On Sun Bathing Nude In His Back Yard? 13 people took poll. 4 (30%) said they would ignore the situation. 2 (15%) said they would confront the neighbor. 3 (23%) said they would call the police. 4 (30%) said they would have their husband confront the neighbor.

The Child Harness

2008-08-12T07:03:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Pregnantly Plump

Elvis' Mom over at Pregnantly Plump has graciously agreed to post today On The Flipside. Read her post below and then please leave a comment offering your opinion about children's harnesses. And then make sure you go over to her blog (Pregnantly Plump) and enter her contest - to have a chance at winning one of these adorable Gold Bug Harnesses.

Harnessing The Love

I’m not one of those “I will never” moms. Bob and I are both pretty open to most things. My son has tasted (and LOVED) his share of sweets. He does watch TV – mainly Disney. I am a big fan of Handy Manny. Bob likes the Higgly Town Heroes and Little Elvis likes Ooh and Aah, the monkeys.

Little Elvis also wears a harness. Before I became pregnant, I worked in news. After covering some pretty heinous things, a harness was never out of the question, especially once our curious little guy began toddling everywhere and anywhere.

When he was about 6-months-old, we saw a woman walking behind a little boy wearing a monkey backpack. She was holding the tail of the backpack. We both thought it was cute and I set about looking for one.

We found it very easily – at Target and Wal-Mart. And at less than $10, we didn’t even have to spend days searching on craigslist for it. We picked out the puppy version of the Gold Bug Harness Buddy, and gave it to Little Elvis for his first birthday.

I fully expected to receive jeers and taunts when we first slipped the backpack on, but we didn’t.

Instead we received giggles, comments on the cuteness of both our son and the harness, and questions about where we purchased it. We use our harness at least once a week, and no one has been openly hostile. I think it's because the harness is just so cute.

It took us a while to get completely used to the harness. We’ve discovered that the side hook for the tail works much better than the hook in the bottom center of the backpack.

And we realized it was best to wait until he was fairly steady on his feet before trying to stop him with the harness. Those first few weeks, we just tried to keep up with our little toddler.

Now that he's more steady on his feet, we can stop him with the harness. Although, this usually causes him to sit on the floor and whine.

The harness is a great way to help us stay together. He can't venture too far from us, but feels like he has more freedom.

The Gold Bug Harness has been great for us, but as LeVar Burton says, “Don’t take my word for it…”

Gold Bug has agreed to give away one of its super-adorable harnesses to one of Pregnantly Plumps lucky readers.

The options include lamb, frog, pig, horse, panda, koala, bunny, cow, unicorn, pink poodle, giraffe, lion, monkey and dog.

All you have to do is go over to Pregnantly Plump and leave a comment telling Elvis' Mom which harness you would like, along with an email address.

If you want to comment, but don’t need a harness, feel free to. She will leave your name out of the drawing.

The drawing will take place on Wednesday morning.

Please give your opinion about harnesses whether you agree with Elvis' Mom or are On The Flipside and have a different point of view. But, make sure you follow the comment rules. And, please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

Poll results: Are You Okay Seeing Children Wearing A Harness? 15 Participated in poll. 12(80%) YES. 3(20%) NO

School - Separate Twins Or Not?

2008-08-11T07:56:00.000-07:00

Now, this is often a controversial subject.

People have all sorts of opinions on this subject. I can't tell you the number of people, over the years, that wanted to stop me and talk about this - offer their opinion ... wanted to hear my point of view.

I have twins.

They are now 16 years old.

What do you think I did about school?

Did I insist that my twins be kept together or did I insist that they be separated?

Or ... did I just agree with what the school suggested I do?

Oh ... if you know me at all --- you'd know that I don't hardly ever agree with what anyone tells me to do - quietly.

And ... if you know me at all --- you'd know that I don't hardly ever go along with the "norm" just because something has "always" been done a certain way - for whatever reason.

NOPE!

I - from the get go - requested/demanded that my twin daughters be ...

Put in the same classes.

All the way through 5th grade - all of elementary school.

It was not the "norm".

It was not without some minor resistance from the school.

I spent a lot of hours worrying over this choice. I did a lot of research, a lot of reading and a lot of praying. Looking back on it now, I made the right choice - for my twins. Looking back on it now ... there was never any other choice.

I kept my twins together from Kindergarten through 5th grade - intentionally.
I was lucky that I was dealing with a school and an administration that was open to the parents making such a decision. I was very aware at the time that it was not common practice to put twins together or was it met with cooperation on the schools part to necessarily do it because the parents wanted it. And I had several meetings and many letters sent to the school, explaining our situation and expressing our opinion on the matter. We were lucky that the school (the Principal) was sensitive and concerned enough to allow us to do what we felt was best for our children.

It ended up not being all that hard to convince the Principal of the school and school Counselor that they were MY children and if there was a decision to be made - it was GOING TO BE MADE BY ME. And ... if there was was a mistake to be made - it would be mine!

My twins are identical twins. Not all identical twins should be necessarily left together in classes. Not all fraternal twins either. But ... some twins should/could be without adverse affect to either twin.

I concluded that --- MY GIRLS --- MY TWINS --- would do better if kept together.

I didn't know if I was right or if there would be problems - but, I was pretty sure it was the right decision for my kids.

And ... IT WAS!

One of the best decisions ... I ever made.

I was lucky that my girls attended a school where my opinion and decision was respected and accommodated. I was lucky the teachers and administration were willing to work with us and allowed this request without issue. We were lucky.

Not all parents are that lucky, as many schools fight to separate twins - feeling that it is the thing to do - promotes individualism, etc.

I do not believe that ALL twins should be kept together and I do not believe the ALL twins should be separated. It all depends on the twins. Their relationship with each other. How they handle fitting into the world around them. How secure they are, etc. There are many issues to consider, but ... there is not ONE answer for ALL sets of twins and I think it is very important that if parents feel strongly, one way or the other, that they should stand their ground - make their view point understood and do everything they have to do to make it happen.

I think sometimes that parents of twins are too easily convinced to separate their twins because they just don't know what to do. They go by what the school tells them to do or what has been the "norm".

I was lucky, in that I had a strong intuition about my girls. I strongly felt that it would hurt them to separate them and it would not hurt them or anyone to keep them together and so ... that is the position I held to.

I was lucky that I was right.

For my daughters' sakes and because I believe there were people just waiting for the "experiment" to blow up in our faces.

It became pretty evident that there were teachers and other parents (of twins and not of twins) very aware of our choice, as I would be approached many times by people, questioning our decision. I got to where I refused to discuss the issue, and only answered with, "It's the right decision for OUR girls," and left it at that. But, people were curious and confused and did not agree.

I didn't care.

Like I said - I KNEW what I believed was right and that was all that mattered. We went against the grain and it could not have worked out better for Courtney and Chloe.

Because my girls are identical twins, I was very concerned that their "twinship" always be protected. The bond. The connection. I was aware - by the time school started - that they were already very independent of each other and sure of their own identities - as best I could be, at that age. So ... my intuition told me that there was then, therefore, no reason to separate them and especially if I believed (as I did) that preserving their "togetherness" - their "twinship" - was hugely important!

Separating twins for the sake of SEPARATING them - makes me crazy! I totally believe that they are unique and special and it is not my duty to take that away from them - as SEPARATING them (whenever) for the sake of SEPARATING them, does! I feel it my duty - as their mother - to PRESERVE that twinship. Protect it. Nurture it.

I have seen twins, where one is more dominant than the other. My girls were never that way. If they had been - I'd have had that to consider, but ... I would have considered it long and hard before separating them.

My girls entered middle school (6th grade) and went their separate ways - it was easy - it was time - it was okay!

If I look back at the decisions I have made with my children, I'd have to say that this one decision was one of the best decisions I ever made. I believe it not only reinforced the bond my twins have to each other as twins, but as sisters, as friends and it proved to do exactly what I hoped it would do. Because of their personalities - their nature - having the other one near by and in the same class, made them compete in a positive way and help each other in a positive way. They have never pulled the other one along, but ... they have often gotten behind each other and pushed.

I'm okay with that. I couldn't have wished for more. What a gift!

I love the idea that they have each other - ALWAYS! And, I am proud that I have done my best to preserve that - especially in their younger years.

They are twins.

They were born together - by God's will.

They are meant to be together until they choose to be apart.

So far ...

My twins are very close - best friends.

They love each other. They respect each other. They support and help each other.

What could be better than that?

This is my opinion - what do you think? Are you in agreement with me or are you On The Flipside on the issue of separating twins in school?

Give me your most honest opinion - whether you agree with me or have a FLIPSIDE view. But, please make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to me and other commenter's. And please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

Poll Question: Should Twins Be In The Same Class At School? 19 People Took Poll. 4 (21%) Said YES. 1 (5%) Said NO. 14 (73%) Said It Depends On The Twins.

Be A Guest Blogger On The Flipside!

2008-08-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

I would like to invite everyone to consider sharing posts - maybe from your archives or writing a new post - to share On The Flipside.

I have been pleased to have already had two great Guest Bloggers (Diane from There's A Circus in My Brain... and Toni over at A Tale Of Two Kiddies) already and have 3 more lined up to publish posts soon.

I'd love to line you up with one of your posts that offers a topic/discussion that is controversial or just a subject that has more than one side (such as Diane's topic on guns and Toni's subject of babysitters being too young). I'd like the subjects to relate to women or families or children or marriage - issues women generally encounter in their daily lives.

I started this blog to offer women the opportunity to discuss women's topics and I don't think there is any better way of doing that than allowing/encouraging the community to offer their stories - their experiences - their questions.

If you are interested in being a guest blogger, all you have to do is simply post your story, anytime, on your blog and then let me know you have posted it and ask me to come by and read it to see if it is something I might want to consider for On The Flipside (if it is a post in your archives - reference the URL to that post). Chances are good - I WILL and then all you have to do is e-mail me your permission to use it and I will then copy it from your site - duplicate it to mine, add a picture, an opening and closing sentence or two, link back to you as the author, post a poll relating to your topic - and that's it. If it is not a topic I am interested in - I will simply say so - but would not want that to discourage you from offering another topic or post. It might just be that I already have a post lined up on a similar topic or it does not seem two-sided enough of an issue to promote discussion.

This not only opens discussion for topics I might not have thought of or written about, but it offers my readers the opportunity to get to know some of the great women/writers/mothers/bloggers that I know and it introduces them to your blogs as well.

If you are interested, e-mail me at ontheupsideblog@aol.com. I'd love to hear from you.

Thanks - Kellan

Cell Phones - Do Kids Need Them?

2008-08-08T07:04:00.000-07:00

Cell phones - Do kids need them?

I don't know!

I guess they probably don't NEED them, but ... my 16 years old twin daughters (Courtney and Chloe) have them.

We gave one cell phone to Courtney and Chloe - to share- when they were 14 years old.

Now - at 16 years old - they each have their own - and, both of their phones are better phones than I have myself!

I think they come in awful handy when a child enters middle school or high school. Because their school days are long (8:45 a.m - 4:00 p.m.) and their activities (sports, clubs, meetings, etc) sometimes drag into the hours after school - it is nice to be able to call and check on them and be able to get a hold of them or they you - especially when they need a ride home or have an emergency.

Also ... this whole "texting" thing ... it is the way this generation communicates - socializes.

Where, when I was a kid, we would search out our friends in the hallways at school, on the school bus or in the neighborhood - or pick up the phone to call - or write a note to pass across the room in Algebra class - these kids are texting. It is their lifeline to their friends and it also serves as a tool for social networking. While my kids also use My Space pages to keep up with their friends - they seldom use e-mail or telephone conversations to find out what is going on. They use their text messaging the most.

I'm okay with that.

While it can often get in the way - like at the dinner table or when you are trying to talk to this constantly-texting-to-their-friends kid - it IS the way they communicate. And ... because it feels safe to them to be behind a text screen talking - it opens doors to their being able/comfortable talking to people they might normally not feel as comfortable to approach or talk too (even teachers/coaches/girls they want to befriend, etc).

I have a cell phone.

Lots of us have cell phones.

I'm okay with my kids having cell phones.

Not to mention - it IS currency!

When I find I need to punish my kids for something - it's always nice to have currency when you are looking for something to take away from them. The cell phone WORKS!

This is JUST my opinion - what do you think? Are you with me on this cell phone issue or are you On The Flipside?

Poll results: Poll question: How Old Should A Kid Be Before Getting A Cell Phone? 23 People Took Poll. 6 People (26%) said 11. 8 People (34%) said 14. 8 People (34%) said 16. And 1 (4%) said 18.

My Two Cents Worth

2008-08-07T07:03:00.000-07:00

On The Flipside Guest Blogger: Diane from There's A Circus In My Brain ... wrote an interesting post on her site on 8/5/08 about guns. Please read her post below and then I'd love to hear your position/opinion about guns.

My Two Cents Worth

Recently, while browsing through a forum, I came across a thread about guns. The statement was quite harsh. It read something like this. "I live in Chicago, and just this weekend two people were shot and killed. Let me make this clear. Guns kill people."

I have to say that as a gun owning Southerner, and a red blooded American, I was infuriated. I couldn't resist leaving a comment. Perhaps I was a bit snotty, but I was very, very angry. Here's what I said in reply.

"I have a Colt .45 and a .22 rifle which have never killed anyone. They are hidden in my house to protect my family from invaders. I realize both my guns are from a happily un-broken family, and that since their Daddy is still here to help me take care of them, that they don't have the same problems other guns have. Many guns out there are being cared for by single parents who have to work many hours while the poor little guns are left to their own devices. They are cared for in such poverty and poor conditions that it's no wonder they seek solace in a gang and follow a life of crime. But they cannot be held accountable for their actions. They are products of their upbringing. If only these guns could have grown up under the influence of both of their parent, they might have stood a chance at being good little guns. Oh please, people! Wake up and smell the coffee! Guns don't kill people. They are manually operated. The trigger must be physically depressed, and I'm not talking sad, folks. Bottom line: People kill people."

What do you think?

Do you have the same viewpoint about guns as Diane and feel that "people kill people" or are you On The Flipside and believe that "guns kill people"?

Thanks Diane for being a Guest Blogger On The Flipside!

Please give your most honest opinion/answer, but please make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to Diane and to other commenters. And don't forget to go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

Poll Results: How Do You Feel About Guns? 18 People took poll. 3(16%) Believe Guns Kill People and 15 (83%) Believe People Kill People.

What Would You Do If ...?

2008-08-06T07:36:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays, I throw out a question that asks, "What Would You Do If ...?" and I would love to hear - what you would do.

I will not give my answer to the What Would You Do If - Wednesday question until late in the day - after everyone has had the opportunity to offer their ideas first.

*****************************************

What would you do if ...

You were invited to a friend's house for dinner and ...

The food they served was unedible or ... something you absolutely hated?

Would you still eat the food?

Would you refuse to eat the food?

What would you do?

I'm anxious to hear your answer - to see if you would do what I would do or are ... On The Flipside.

Give me your most honest answer and please go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this subject.

This is what I would do:

I have seldom been in this situation - but, it has happened.

I've never been offered dog food - and if I was - I would not eat it. But ... there has been times when something was being served that I am not fond of - like spaghetti.

Most people love spaghetti. Not me! I don't like spaghetti! I can't even spell spaghetti without using spellcheck - I hate it that much.

But ... I ALWAYS eat the spaghetti - ALWAYS!

I would never tell my friend that I did not like what she has prepared and I would eat most anything to keep from hurting my friend's feelings.

Usually, I just pick the food I am okay eating - like salad and bread and just say that I am not all that hungry or ask for a small portion of the food I do not like.

I have been in the situation where I have made a meal - had family/friends over and cooked a big meal - only to have a member at the table refuse to eat or pick at the food as if it was inedible.

This situation was awkward and hurtful and not something I would EVER do to a family member or friend.

That's just me.

I'll eat most anything to keep from hurting your feelings.

Poll results: In Your Friend Made Something For Dinner That Was a Good That You Hated - Would You Eat It Anyway? 22 Participated in poll. 9 (40%) YES. 13 (59%) NO.

I Think The Real Word I'm Looking For Is Probably - Bitch

2008-08-04T16:07:00.000-07:00

One night, while I was lying in bed reading a book, my husband walked up, took off his jeans and red t-shirt and dropped them on the floor on his side of the bed, as he does every night. And then he said, "I think that dog's finally trained."

He was referring, at the time, to our two year old Pomeranian, Barbie.

When my husband made this comment about the pup finally being trained, I didn't even ask what he meant, as I assumed that he meant that she had gone easily into her crate. I simply said, "She's been trained. It's you that's not trained." He just laughed and crawled into bed.

He knew exactly what I meant when I made this comment. The puppy is pretty well trained, but she will not listen to a word he says, because I am the alpha dog in our family. She listens to most anything I tell her to do, because ... I am the alpha dog. My husband knows this as well. He doesn't necessarily like it or even know how it happened, but he knows.

I became truly aware that I was the alpha dog once we got Barbie. We also have another dog (a five year old Golden Retriever) named Buddy. I was the leader of the pack with Buddy before Barbie ever came along, but never exactly realized it until her arrival. Our family order goes: Me, Husband, Twins (equal on the totem pole), Little Billy, Alexis, Buddy, Barbie and then the two cats (Snape and Banana). At least that is the order the dogs relate to. And I think if my husband were to have to admit this honestly, he would agree that this is probably the order of things.

I didn't choose this alpha position. I don't think I was really even aware of what it meant until I started watching The Dog Whisperer (Cesar Millan), on TV. He's amazing - that guy- with those dogs. Anyway, I've watched him a lot over the past several years and agree with much of what he says on his show, with regard to dogs. And, one of the main emphasis' he makes - show after show- is that dogs see their family's as a pack and therefore need to have established or establish themselves, a leader. In our family, I was already the leader before these canines came along - so no need to change that, as far as I was concerned. They see me as the ... alpha dog.

My husband doesn't watch this show as often (if ever) as I, and probably doesn't even realize all this alpha stuff; therefore, he gets his ego hurt that these dogs won't listen to him. According to Cesar Millan, everyone (all humans) should be able to control these dogs - we should all be their leaders - as we are the humans. In my house, pretty much everyone is following me - especially the dogs.

My kids are always arguing about who's the boss. "You're not the boss of me," Alexis will tell her big brother. And then she will put her hands on her hips and turn her chin up in the air and announce, "Mom's the boss of everybody." I often tell my kids that their daddy is really the boss of everybody - just so they know.

Once, Alexis came to me and asked, "Are you in charge?" to which I said, "Yes." She then said, "Of everybody?" I said, "Well, I'm in charge of all you kids," and she smiled and walked away. I think she was trying to clear this concept up. I honestly think she may very well believe that I'm in charge of everybody - in the whole world. I didn't clarify that for her, as it didn't occur to me that she might think this until she left my room. That's okay - if she believes I'm in charge of everybody in the whole world - I kind of like her thinking I'm that powerful; like I have super powers or something. She's only seven ... she'll find out soon enough how very little power I actually have.

For the most part, the alpha dog position SUCKS! My husband's not missing anything.

This is JUST how it is in my house. What's it like in yours? Are you the alpha dog or are you On The Flipside and your husband holds the alpha position in your family?

Give me your honest opinion/answer - whether you agree with me or have a FLIPSIDE view. But, please make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to me and other commenter's. And please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

I Think I Might Be A McFailure As A Mother!

2008-08-04T07:21:00.000-07:00

Are mothers that rely on and/or embrace fast food to feed their families - lesser mothers?

First of all - I AM ONE OF THESE MOTHERS!

And ... Yes - I sometimes feel like I am not a good mother because of it.

But ... I am 16 years into this BAD habit and don't imagine I am going to drastically change anything now.

I wish I was a good cook.

I wish I liked to cook.

I wish I had the talent for setting menus, shopping and stocking the pantry and fridge with fresh produce and meats and pastas, in order to throw together a delicious home cooked meal, regularly - but I don't!

I believe that children DO associate love with a mother's ability/desire to produce and offer great home cooked meals for their family.

I DO believe that good food - and, the time and effort that goes into the preparation of the feast instills positive and cherished memories into the minds of children.

I DO believe that a home cooked meal has FAR MORE POTENTIAL to offer more nutritional value to a child's diet - not to mention the quality and taste.

I'm just not good at it.

And ... I hate it! The cooking - the coming up with menus - the preparation process - UGH!

I am grateful for the fast food - packaged food - frozen food - alternatives .... as my children might otherwise have NOTHING to eat but ... apples and grapes.

On one hand, I think I've grown lazy and on another, I KNOW that I just gave up - gave in - to fast food!

This is JUST how I do things - what about you? Are you a McDonald's mom or are you On The Flipside and avoid fast food and prepare lots of yummy meals from scratch?

Give me your most honest opinion - whether you agree with me or have a FLIPSIDE view. But, please make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to me and other commenter's. And please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll question on this topic.

Results of poll - "Do You Often Rely On Fast Food To Feed Your Family?" 25 took poll. 12(48%) said YES. 13(52%) said NO.

The Contest Winner Is ...

2008-08-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everyone that came by this past weekend and entered On The Flipside's first contest. It was my way of saying thanks for helping to get my new blog up and going! I'm sorry I can't give a bottle of one of my favorite fragrances to everyone!

And now - the winner of the contest - the new owner of my most favorite perfume - Obsession - is ...

Dawn at Renaissance Mama!

Congratulations, Dawn - I hope you enjoy this bottle of Obsession!

Thanks again and please come back tomorrow for a new On The Flipside post.

On The Flipside's First Contest

2008-08-02T09:40:00.000-07:00

What is the flipside to stinky, smelly people?

Sweet, delicious smelling people - of course.

I love girly things.

I love jewelry and dresses.

I love frills and ruffles and polka dots.

And ... I love wonderful perfumes.

I mentioned on an On The Upside post recently that I love the perfumes Dune, Anais Anais, Safari, Tresor and Obsession.

I have worn these 5 perfumes a lot over the years. I have tried many others - but these are my 5 favorites that I always come back to.

It doesn't matter which of these five I wear, someone will stop me in an elevator or at a checkout counter and say, "You smell so good - what are you wearing?"

Once - at the San Antonio Rodeo, I walked up to the roasted corn booth to get me an ear of roasted corn - that could be smelt - mind you - all over the Rodeo grounds. As I stood there waiting for the cowboy behind the counter to pull my corn off the grill, dunk it in a pot of hot butter and hand it to me - he said, "You smell wonderful. What are you wearing - Obsession?"

And, I was.

And ... he could smell it clear across the counter - over the aromatic, delicious scent of the roasting corn. I OBVIOUSLY had on TOO MUCH!

Calvin Klein's, Obsession, is my very favorite perfume of all. I also LOVE the body lotion and powder.

So ... if you have never tried Obsession - I'd highly recommend it - it is a BEAUTIFUL fragrance.

And ... if you leave me a comment - tell me your favorite perfume - I'll enter you in my contest and if you win - I'll send you ... this 3.4 fl.oz. bottle of Obsession.

If you don't wear perfume and don't have a favorite - still leave me a comment - you will be entered! And, even if you don't wear perfume or don't like this one, you could give this bottle to your mother or sister or friend, as it makes a great gift. And - if you know anything about Calvin Klein products - you know it is pricey - but so worth every single drop!

Good Luck!

I will leave the contest up until Sunday evening. If you win you will need to e-mail me your mailing address.

Note: Blogger is having problems, as of Friday evening and I could not get into my blogs for several hours(error message: Internet Explorer can not access this website - operation aborted). I finally read a "help" message that instructed the fix to the problem was to delete the Sitemeter code in Layout. From all I am reading on this problem, it has something to do with Internet Explorer and Sitemeter and everyone is being told to delete the Sitemeter code from their blogs or others will/may not be able to access your blog. Apparently, Sitemeter works with Firefox, but that is it.

Funny Kid Products

2008-07-31T16:58:00.001-07:00

I was forwarded a fun post. Pregnantly Plump sent me the link to a blog (http://www.creativeminorityreport.com/) that had posted a fun list of "The Worst Baby Products Ever."

So I decided, when I saw all of these items - I liked some of them - REALLY!

So ... in true On The Flipside fashion, I am going to give my opinion as to why I DO LIKE these items!

This one is called "The Daddle" - a saddle for daddy. For one - I think this is a cute name and I think any product that involves daddy playing with the kids is a GOOD PRODUCT!

I'm not sure of the actual name for this product, but ... I am so OKAY with these "leash" products. I don't care if it does make it look like you are walking a "dog" - if it helps keep track of a kid in a crowded store - it's a GOOD PRODUCT!

Now ... this product is meant to be used to help a mom out in a public restroom or anywhere or anytime she needs to keep the child in one place - where she can keep an eye on him - so she can GO PEE or whatever. I would be a lot happier hanging my kid on the side of a bathroom stall than I would be having that child crawl around on the nasty public bathroom floor. This product does seem a bit odd - but it does seem as though it might work and I think it is a pretty GOOD PRODUCT!

These "hands" are called "The Zaky Infant Pillows". They look creepy - they do. But ... I kind of like the idea that they hold a baby on it's side to sleep (helps avoid their head flattening from sleeping on their back too much) and it makes the baby think that someone is touching him. There can't be much wrong with a product that emulates touching or holding - right? I think these hands need to be in more pleasant fabrics, though - like pink or pastels. I like these hands - I think this is a GOOD PRODUCT!

Okay ... maybe the "redneck" in me is coming out, but I can't help but love these Buck-Toothed Pacifiers! What is not to love about how totally cute this baby looks. I'd rather see them on YOUR baby than any of mine, but I still think this is a GOOD PRODUCT!

This Cheese Burger costume is too cute. I don't see anything wrong with this precious costume, other than putting the baby on the couch like this and walking away, as it is sort of like turning a turtle on its back - he's stuck! I do like this cute costume and would love to see a whole family of kids dressed as a cheese burger, fries, apple pie and milk shake. I think this is a GOOD PRODUCT!

Now ... I have tried to like this product - but I just don't. I don't see any reason to put tattoos (and I'm not opposed to tattoos) on a baby. I have to say that I don't really like this product - NOPE!

Now, there are lots of people that probably won't like these little high-heeled shoes for babies - but ... I LOVE THEM! They are a bit crazy, but I think they are darling. I wouldn't put them on my little darling for just any 'ol occasion, but for those special events - they are precious! I think these little shoes are a GOOD PRODUCT!

This product is called "The Po-Knee" and I think the name is very creative. I also love this product. I have seen a child bounced on many a knee and this is not only more comfortable for the baby, but also the daddy and it makes the play more fun. I think this product is adorable and I think it is a GOOD PRODUCT!

This product is a "Baby Mop". As cute as this baby is in this stringy outfit - it is not the baby's job to do any sort of mopping and ... imagine the filth that would collect on that mop! I wouldn't want my baby "wearing" a dirty mop-looking outfit. I do not like this product - NOPE!

I'm anxious to see if you like these products or if you are On The Flipside and think they are the worst products ever.

Please make sure you follow the comment rules when leaving a comment and be considerate in your opinions and nice to other commenters.

How Young Is Too Young?

2008-07-30T08:22:00.000-07:00

Our first On The Flipside GUEST BLOGGER!

My good friend, Toni, over at The Tale Of Two Kiddies was so generous to allow a recent post she published on her blog to be today's topic and story. I think this issue and post was a great topic/question for On The Flipside and appreciate Toni posting her story here. Thanks, Toni!

Please support Toni by reading/commenting on this interesting post and visiting her great site.

How Young Is Too Young?

There is a situation in my neighborhood that is causing me some alarm- not a great amount of alarm but enough that I find it somewhat troubling so I am turning to the smartest ladies I know to see if I am being a little too....well, too Toni.

My neighbors have three children: an 8 year old (Rachel), a 4 year old (Caleb) and a 20 month old (Sadie). Rachel and Claire are good buddies. Rachel lives with her dad and step mom and Caleb and Sadie are their children. Capisce?

Well, the dad, who I'll call Steve, is a nut about his yard. I mean, a crazy man. He mows several times a week and doesn't like for the kids to play in any area that is not outfitted with play equipment because it smushes the grass. (Honestly. This is not a lie.)

Steve's wife, Amy, a hair stylist, works every other Saturday, thus leaving the kids alone with Steve. This is where Steve's lawn obsession becomes my problem. Steve mows while leaving the 8 year old in charge of the 4 year old and, worse, toddler Sadie. Now, as a SAHM, I get that sometimes things need to be done and when you have an older, more responsible child, they can really fill a void. There are many, many occasions where Claire has to step up and help with Liam. I get that.

She distracts him while I pee. She takes him to the basement while I make dinner (remember I am not a cook so this is usually a microwave warm up of leftovers) but never is she in charge of him for any more than a short while. I just don't see this as her job or responsibility and she is only 8!

A few weeks ago, Steve mowed (twice, as is protocol and takes about 2 1/2 hours) and then cleaned gutters, power washed the house and sprayed weed killer on every weed lining the street in our neighborhood (again, not a lie.) and this took a total of about 6 hours. I know this because we were outside the majority of that time.

While Steve was doing all this, Rachel watched, changed, fed and entertained Sadie. Claire and a couple other neighborhood girls played for a while but, once I realized Rachel was the one in charge, I insisted Claire return home. Rachel eventually had to take Sadie inside the house as it was really hot and the baby was cranky; a neighborhood girl accompanied her. I felt uneasy about this girl going inside alone with Sadie and Rachel because I am good friends with her mom and it made me uncomfortable to think of two 8 year olds watching a young toddler. I chose to butt out.

Well, of course, Sadie got into markers and marked all over herself and a wall. When Steve learned of this, he freaked. He screamed (according to the other girl in the house) at both 8 year olds and grounded Rachel from the computer (where she and her friend were playing and NOT watching the tot) for life! and made her clean the mess.

So, now I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to cause trouble but I am uncomfortable with letting Claire play at their home when the mom is out. I feel that Rachel has way too much responsibility at too young an age. Am I completely overreacting by making the rule that Claire may not, under any circumstance, be alone inside with Rachel and Sadie?

Is this just me being irrational and over the top, or not? At what age is it appropriate for an older sibling to watch a little one? I babysat at 11 but I was a strangely mature 11. What do you think?

Originally Posted by Toni - The Tale Of Two Kiddies at 8:45 PM
Labels: crazies, neighbors, parenting

How do you feel on this subject? Are you with Toni, and this situation bothers you or ... are you On The Flipside? What is an appropriate age? How Young Is Too Young?

Give your most honest opinion - whether you agree or have a FLIPSIDE view. But, please make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to Toni and to other commenter's. And please go over to my sidebar and
answer the poll question on this topic.

Results of poll: 19 people voted - 100% felt An 8 Year Old Is Too Young To Babysit

WHAT WOULD YOU DO - WEDNESDAYS

2008-07-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

On Wednesdays, I am going to throw out a question that asks, "What Would You Do If ...?" and I would love to hear - what you would do.

It might be a question about kids. It might be a question about marriage. It might be a question about ethics or morals. But ... hopefully it will be fun to see what everyone will have to say and I'm sure ... there will often be many Flipside views.

I will not give my answer to the What Would You Do - Wednesday question until late in the day - after everyone has had the opportunity to offer their ideas first.

*****************************************

Today's What Would You Do - Wednesday question is:

What would you do if you found out your husband was cheating on you?

Would you - Kick him to the curb?

Would you - Confront him and try to work things out?

Would you - Ignore that it happened and hope that the problem goes away?

What would you do?

Edited to add my answer - 7/30/08 @5:26 p.m.

Early in my marriage, I would have quickly said, "Kick him to the curb," and it wasn't that I loved my husband less - it was that I had not yet lived much of my life yet (I was 22 when I got married) and I thought that it would be his loss for making such a stupid decision - I don't need that - adios!

But ... I don't see things the same way I saw them when I was 22.

I've been married to a wonderful man for nearly 25 years and I have to say that I am surprised he hasn't cheated on me yet - really! I think there has realistically been many opportunities and many times I could have been "blamed" for his straying - cheating. But ... he never has and if he were to cheat now - after all of these years - I would have to say that it would hurt me tremendously - scare me - make me angry and humiliate me, but ... I would hope that the situation would allow for us to work through it.

Some of the worst dreams I have ever had, were when I have dreamt that my husband has found someone else and in the dream he has made his decision to the point that I can't persuade him - no matter what - to come back to me. I have had this dream many times and I think it means that my greatest fear is that he would leave me and never look back. It is something I've never had to worry about, thus far - but ... it would be horrible. I love him very much!

I hope none of us ever have to decide what we would do in this situation and for anyone who has experienced this sort of trauma or heartbreak - I am sorry - truly!

So ... Does This Mean We Don't Have To Have The Babies Anymore?

2008-07-29T07:42:00.000-07:00

What do you think when you hear the stories on TV about the "Pregnant Man?"

You've heard about him - right? He was on Oprah - he's EVERYWHERE! And ... he's had the baby!

Please give me your honest opinion on this story. And then... later on today, I will tell you what I think.

I'm anxious to see if you have my similar point of view or if you are On The Flipside.

Please make sure you follow the comment rules when leaving a comment and be considerate in your opinions and nice to other commenters. And, please go over in the sidebar and answer the poll question on this subject.

Edited to insert my opinion on this subject (July 29, 2008 - 5:34 p.m.)

Okay ... So there were 27 people that took the poll and 24 (88%) say that this story "Makes Them Crazy", 2 (7%) people "Love This Story" and 1 (3%) "Have Never Heard Of This Man".

And ... now that I have some of your points of view ... I just want to say - most of us agree that ...

THIS STORY ABOUT THE PREGNANT MAN ... MAKES US CRAZY!

Every time I hear about this man - this ... woman that looks like a man - I want to scream!

Mostly, it's the way the media portrays this story - that MAKES ME CRAZY! How they keep referring to HIM as the ... "THE PREGNANT MAN". And ... there he is on TV and in magazines - looking very much like a MAN that is pregnant. And then ... there he is in People Magazine with the new baby.

I'm not okay with all of this.

There's nothing I can do about it, but ... it BUGS ME!

Every time I hear this story fixing to come on the news or on a talk show - I race around trying to find the remote to FLIP the channel. I can't stand to watch it!

I wish this couple well - I do. The baby is precious and I hope it continues to be healthy and I hope they all live happily every after - I DO! It just BUGS ME that they refer to him as "The Pregnant Man" and ... he is portraying himself as - a PREGNANT MAN!

Apparently, he's 1/2 man (on the outside) and 1/2 woman (obviously has a uterus). Maybe I'd be happier if they called him that. Maybe ... "The Pregnant Hermaphrodite".

I guess that just sounds weird (and disrespectful) and confusing.

I know it is probably not politically correct to say negative things about this man and his pregnancy - but - COME ON! S/He is obviously still a woman that looks like a man?

I understand that he was going through gender re-identification ---- taking drugs to change his appearance from female to male - but, he hadn't had any surgery to change his hoo-ha or his insides. Aside from his outwardly appearance (facial hair, lack of breasts, masculine features, etc.) - He is still a WOMAN that looks like a man - that was pregnant!

I think I heard that the woman in this couple was not able to conceive and since he hadn't had any surgeries yet to change his gender that he was still able to have children and so that is why he got pregnant. I get all that and I think that was their choice and I might very well have done the same thing if I had wanted a child so badly and this was the choice at hand. I am just VERY UNCOMFORTABLE with the images of his pregnancy and VERY UNCOMFORTABLE that it is all over the media.

It's NOT NORMAL! And ...unless we as a society strive for a sense of normalcy in our lives - in our world - there will only always be chaos and craziness. I don't want my kids growing up in a nation - in a world - that is chaotic and crazy. I want them to understand that there are things and people that are "outside the norm" and respect those things and people - be tolerant of all of it - I DO! I just don't want the "norm" to be skewed by bizarre stories like this, to the point that we see it on TV or in magazines and it becomes commonplace. It's not COMMON and it's not a MAN having a baby! It's a woman that looks like a man - having a baby and I don't think it is a story that needs to be plastered all over the place for my children to have to see and question. I can't hardly explain it and barely understand it - how will they? I'm not saying that this couple - this man - should stay hidden --- I just would like it to be reported (if it HAS to be reported) as it really is and not spun out of control.

I feel bad for this woman that was born with these gender identity issues. I have got to believe that there are some biological things that go wrong that cause some people to feel like they are trapped in the wrong gender body. I would not wish this sort of turmoil on anyone - it has got to be VERY HARD!

I also think that this couple has every right to have a child of their own and if S/He was able to become pregnant and have this baby - then that doesn't bother me. It's how S/He put himself out in the public and the media spun this story CRAZY!

I Like To Think Of It As - Negotiating

2008-07-27T13:26:00.000-07:00

Is bribery, when used to discipline children - Okay?

Probably not!

I'm pretty sure that bribery is not mentioned as an appropriate technique to discipline children ... in any Good Parenting books or magazines.

I DON'T CARE!

I have been known to use bribery - MANY, MANY TIMES, over the course of the past 16 years in the raising of my kids.

I have!

"If you be really good at Aunt Ruth's house - I'll get you some candy."

"If you and your brother go all day without fighting - I'll pay each of you $5.00."

"If you go tinkle on the potty - I'll get you some candy."

I've used candy A LOT over the years!

I'm not against bribery.

Kids eventually KNOW you are bribing them - eventually, they get it! And ... they play you.

But ... I still use it.

I try different tactics.

Like ...

"Every time you scream at your brother, I am going to go into your room and take one of your toys."

That day - I had a pile of Alexis' toys in my bedroom that would have filled a pretty large toy box. Guess who had to put all those toys back - ME. I don't use this one much. As long as there are still toys left in their room - they are happy! They assume you couldn't possibly take all of their toys. This one doesn't work so well, unless you resort to taking IPODs or X-Boxes - which I HAVE DONE!

I have found that bribery works about 1/2 the time.

Any tool that has a success rate of 50% is a GOOD TOOL - in my book. That means I've got a 50/5o shot of getting the result I want.

I'm okay with that.

I guess people could argue that you shouldn't teach your children that they can get something through bribery, and you know what - they'd be right. I don't ever want to see any of my kids using bribery with one of their friends to get something they want.

I prefer to think of it as ... negotiating.

Alexis says, "I'll play on the trampoline with you if you swim with me after."

Yes - I prefer thinking of it as NEGOTIATING!

This is one tool that works often enough to ... keep it in my arsenal - whether you call it bribery or not.

This is JUST how I raise my children - what do you think? Do you use bribery when it comes to disciplining your kids or ... are you On The Flipside?

Give me your most honest opinion - whether you agree with me or have a FLIPSIDE view. But, please make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to me and other commenter's. And please go over to my sidebar and answer the survey question on this topic.

Edited: Poll results - 21 took poll. 9 (39%) Yes. 14 (60%) Sometimes. 0 voted No.

WELCOME!

2008-07-26T09:52:00.001-07:00

Welcome to On The Flipside - Where we are all great moms and fabulous women with different points of view!

I am anxious to get started and should have this blog up and running on Monday, July 28 (after Alexis' Birthday) with my first post.

For now, this is how the blog will look, but ... I have asked Lindsay over at SPLAT Creative Designs to design a great new template for On The Flipside and I can't wait to see what she comes up with.

Also, I want to emphasize that this is a FRIENDLY blog - just like On The Upside. While there might be subjects that people feel strongly about - it is not my intent to create any sort of battling between myself and other bloggers or hurt feelings amongst my friends. My intent is to simply throw out subjects that I do not often discuss at On The Upside and also that are not often discussed openly on "Mommy Blogs". A blog where people should feel FREE to offer their opinion - no matter what it is - but, do it in a GROWN-UP manner, without lecturing or preaching or picking on others!

I know ALL the women that I associate with are perfectly capable of discussing and offering their opinions without being mean or hurtful. I do, however, realize that there might be those "trolls" that will wander by our FRIENDLY site and try to cause CRAP. I have every intent of letting everyone's opinion be heard, but I will be the judge of whether the comment/opinion is appropriate or inappropriate and if it is not welcome here - I WILL DELETE IT or go back to the commenter and request that they come back to On The Flipside to EDIT their own comment or offer a follow-up comment to clarify what they were trying to say. I don't want people to ever feel the need to sensor their comments - but ... I do want bloggers to ALWAYS be respectful of each other!

Honestly ... there might be a subject every now and then that riles people up and might cause some pretty heated opinions, but ... most of the subjects are not likely to be that CRAZY! We're talking about Moms and Women here - not politics or religion (while we might touch on some issues of religion) or sex (while we might touch occasionally on issues of sex).

Also ... you might have noticed in my profile that I have another blog On The Darkside - Come On Over ... We Have Cookies (thanks to JoAnna at Bugs In My Teeth) sitting on my back burner. Yes - I may very well be starting that blog soon, too - but not for a couple of months. There are a few other blog ideas I also have - so keep an eye out for those in the future.

I know people wonder how I plan to keep up with 2 or more blogs. I've had several comments asking just this question, already. I honestly don't know if I will be able to keep up, but I am determined to try, as I really WANT them to work and be FUN and INTERESTING and blogs where people enjoy visiting and reading.

I hope you enjoy On The Flipside. I hope to see you often and can't wait to hear your point of view!

PS - YES - I'd love suggestions for topics!!!

I'm Starting Another Blog

2008-07-21T11:57:00.001-07:00

Different than On The Upside .

I, of course, will continue to blog at On The Upside - I'd never give up my stories or that blog that I love so much - this is just an idea for another blog that I have and I am going to give it a go - SOON!

I haven't worked out all the details, but just as soon as I have it all figured out, I will have this blog up and running (hopefully by the end of July) and I hope you will come back to visit!