I have a new post up on my blog over at mySA called, I Must Have Stopped Thinking --- Because I Can NO LONGER HEAR MYSELF!
Come over to my blog at mySA to read my new post: They Started Out Perfectly Normal - a little story about my teenage twin daughters.
I have a new post up over at mySA called It's Just The Tip Of The Melting Iceberg.
I have a new post up on my blog at mySA called, She Cracks Me Up.
I have a new post up on my blog over at mySA called The Journey. I'd love to see you over there.
I have a new post up over at mySA called Take Everything We Own ... Except
I have a new post up over at mySA called That Boy - He Knows A Little About This And He Knows A Little About That.
I have a new post, Skip To My Lou, My Little Darling - up over at mySA.
I have a new weekend post up over at mySA called My First High-Five.
I have a new post up over at mySA called I Am No Rachael Ray. 
I'm writing today over at mySA. I have a post up called Draw Me An Elf - I'll Keep That. It's about my childrens' art. I hope you go over and read this post - I'd love to hear what you do with all of your childrens' art.
I am writing today over at mySA - post titled, Who Is Doing All That Yellin'? Oh ... It's Me.
I am writing today over at mySA. I have a post up called The Friday Folder Girl. I hope you go over and read my story about volunteering in Alexis' school.
I have a new post up on my blog at mySA, called The Secret. It is a post about my twins and I would love if you came over to visit me over there.
I am so happy to now also be writing for mySA.com.Can I Make My Own Amber Alert?
Yesterday, the seemingly impossible happened: It rained. It even hailed for a few seconds. We missed the sunshine. We missed going boating on Labor Day. And… we missed something far more important than all of that. We missed our kids. But wait! Weren't they just here at home with us a few seconds ago? Where did they go? Where are they?
10 Minutes Before the Rainstorm
I don't like to be thought of as a scrooge, but ... I am not a fan of Halloween.
I had just returned from a long day, dropping the kids at school, then to Target to shop, then to Bible study, then finally home at noon. Upon getting home to put away the groceries, I look at the jam I am about to put away in the pantry. I notice the little "popper button" is popped UP. Hmmm, shouldn't it be down? I press it and, yup, it's up. So I go to open the jar and notice a little dent in the side of the metal lid. My immediate thought is, oh, the popper must have popped up when this jar got dropped. I probably dropped it or it banged against something in the van. I open the jar and everything looks brand new and fine. I give it the smell test - pass with flying colors. So, what did I do?Hmm.... just when you're thinking "I have NOTHING to blog about today. I wonder what I'll have to dig up just to keep my readers from yawning." something hits a nerve and POOF! A blog post is born.
We all have one of these friends... you know, the one who really loves you but deep down disagrees with you on some crucial point of your belief system. Maybe it's politics; maybe it's the decision to use dried herbs instead of fresh. Who knows. But you both know to NEVER go there, else the friendship may suffer irreparable damage.
So, I have this friend. Let's call her Pig. Now, please understand, I do not think she is a pig. She, actually, gave herself this nickname because she really likes pigs and used to collect pig things: stuffed animals, figurines, pictures, tee shirts, whatever. I have known Pig since our first days of college when we shared a freshman English class. She was the ying to my yang. She helped me to take life less seriously; I taught her how to compose herself in moments when laughter was not appropriate. Yes, me. I was there for her after her first marriage fell apart. She was there for me when I got married, as one of my bridesmaids. Her son and my daughter are born just weeks apart. She is my daughter's godmother.
So, you get it? We're close. And we have stayed close all these years.
She's also a heavy Democrat. I am a Republican. We both laugh because we both say how our votes are a wash. She lives in Kansas (always goes Republican) and I used to live in IL (always went Democrat). Sometimes I like to get her going by making some comment about liberals, or how we listen to Rush Limbaugh, or I simply mention the name "George W. Bush". She loves to debate politics and I think it infuriates her that I refuse to bend, even a little, towards the middle. Not that she's bending either, but she likes to believe that she can change someone's mind with her powers of persuasion.
Now, I was talking to Pig today and we were discussing a mutual friend from college whose children were grown now and in elementary school. She wondered why the friend had not gone back to work? I explained, well, I believe the friend - let's call her Amy (because that's my most favorite girl name and still, why have I not named any of my girls that name???) - that Amy enjoyed staying home and taking care of the house things, being active in her kids' school, volunteering, etc. Plus, Amy's husband made enough money that she didn't need to work. They weren't rich, but his salary was enough to support the family. Pig went on to say that it just didn't make sense. Why wouldn't a woman want to go back to work? What was the point in staying home?
She continued, while I listened in silence, that SHE took her son to and from school every day. That SHE took days off work when her son had field trips so that she could attend. That SHE took time off work when there was a holiday party at school with which she was helping, and not only did she attend but she baked (not bought) cookies. And, she said, I *do* like my job, but I am busy! I take my son to sports practices. I take him to games. I help him with homework.
I tried to explain, "well, maybe Amy likes staying home with her family. Maybe even if she could go back to work, she would choose not to. I can understand this dilemma if they were suffering financially, but they aren't - so what's the big deal?" And I mentioned, "maybe Amy doesn't understand why in the world you choose to work when your husband could easily support your family on his income alone."
Pig then continued, and I think this may have been the source of her frustration, how she was so SICK of bumping into one particular stay-at-home mom in her subdivision who complains that she's SO TIRED.
Pig says, "What in the hell is she so tired from? She doesn't even see her kids all day because they are at school!! The kids even ride the bus so she doesn't have to drive them either. How lazy is that? I mean, what else does she have to do?"
I was pretty much stunned.
Pig: "Hello? Are you there?"
Me: "Yes, I'm here. I'm just listening."
Pig: "Oh, I'm not talking about you. I mean, you still have a small child at home. And you have 4 kids! I mean, this lady in my subdivision only has 2. And hers are at school all day."
**crickets chirping**
Me: "Okay, well, I don't know what her situation is. So, how was your son's birthday party?" (me, trying to redirect the conversation away from me putting my foot in my mouth)
Now, before you go and start in with "That Pig is a total rag. Drop her like a hot potato!" I must beg you to please restrain yourself. She is a VERY close friend. Just because I don't see the world the same way she does, doesn't mean I don't love her. We have very different views on parenting, which probably is directly related to our difference of opinions on the working/staying home thing.
Now, all day long, I can't stop thinking about this. Is that what Pig thinks about me? What if I had chosen not to go back to work, would she secretly be clucking her tongue at me? Or making snide comments, set up as just playful jabs but really based in truth? I almost feel like, "Thank God I have a baby at home to justify my Stay-At-Home-Mom status."
That continued the spiral... what do I do all day? Could I be doing what I do, and still go out and have a job? Why not? Many women do it and make it work. Many women do it and are really good at it! And, it's true: I don't see my kids a majority of the day (with the exception of the baby). So, should I be doing something more meaningful? Like homeschooling? (Oh, please don't make me do that. I may have to take a full-time job just to avoid it.) Or volunteering at a not-for-profit agency? Or getting a job that I can do from home? Suddenly, my days of clipping coupons, driving around town to get the best deals from various stores on our needed supplies, folding loads of laundry, picking up toys, and ironing Texan Papa's shirts seems very... insignificant. Like I'm wasting time. Like I'm unproductive.
I am so screwed. I take these little scenarios and hold onto them for dear life. My brain exists only to tumble around the different paths my life could take or should have taken. What if I'd done this instead? Would I be richer? Smarter? Someplace different? Would I have more kids? Less kids? Any kids at all?
Now, I know that every time I meet a working mom, I will be afraid that she's thinking the same thing that Pig thinks. I bet I will (subconsciously) mention that I have a baby at home, and she's only about 1 year old - just to make sure it's understood that I *DO* have someone to keep me busy all day. I will probably never act like I'm busy, but rather offer to relieve any burden she may have because, you know, I have so much extra time on my hands.
The funny thing is, I am not being funny. I DO have lots of extra time on my hands. I DO realize that my job is pretty easy. Because of those things, I purposely avoid asking my husband to do any household chores. I try to support him by allowing him to bring home the bacon without any added stress. I'm not saying that I walk around behind him, picking up his socks and wiping his nose. I just mean, I don't tell him that he has to cook dinner once a week, or that he has to fold laundry, or put away toys, etc. (For the record, he does occasionally do those things without being asked, just to be helpful.) And, in turn, he has never asked me to go out and get a job to help with the income. I have had small jobs here and there, but nothing more than what could cover a couple weeks of groceries. But my point is, I do realize that I have a great life. I enjoy staying home. I enjoy being a domestic goddess. I love teaching and one day hope to return to it. But in the mean time, should I apologize for my husband's and my belief that - for us - it's important to have a parent at home while the children are young? Should I feel guilty that I can - and do - go to yoga class, do bible study, write thank-you notes, and take bike rides while other moms are out there earning the Almighty Dollar? No, scratch that. I don't want to know if I should feel guilty. I want to know how I should justify it to my friends, to myself, to society?
Originally posted by http://whoputmeinchargeofthesepeople.blogspot.com/ at 9/21/08 12:01
What would you do?
Would you tell your friend?
Would you confront your friend's husband?
Would you ignore the situation and just hope that it stopped?
Would you flirt back?
What would you do?
Please leave your honest answer and then please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.
Okay - this is what would I do?
I have not been in this situation, but I did have a situation in high school where my best friend's boyfriend cornered me in a dark room and kissed me. I was shocked and worried and I never told my friend and he and I never talked about it - it just sort of went away. He and my best friend ended up getting married. I don't know what ever happened to them and their marriage, but I have often thought about that "stolen" kiss many times over the years.
I would try to be nice. I would say things (joking) that would make it obvious that I was not interested and that would hopefully make it clear that I didn't think the flirting was respectful to my friend or to me. If he continued and didn't get the hints - I'd confront him and ask him to stop. If he didn't stop - I'd be hesitant to tell my friend for fear that she might not believe me and may even defend her husband. Last resort - I'd have my husband start making remarks to back him off.
I hope this never happens.
Poll results: "What Would You Do If Your Friend's Husband Constantly Flirted With You?" 11 People participated in the poll. (0) said they would tell their friend. 6 (45%) said they would confront the husband and tell him to stop it. 6 (64%) said they would ignore the situation and hope that it would just stopp on its own. (0) said the would flirt back.
So ... there is the story out there about how "PETA wants their breast milk ice cream and they want you to have some too. PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) sent a letter to Ben & Jerry's Homemade Ice Cream requesting that they replace the cow's milk they use to make their famous ice cream with breast milk."
Appropriately, it all begins on Labor Day. The great debate of whether to be a SAHM or to continue working outside the home.
Your child informed you that a student in their class was constantly cheating and you knew this child and this child's parents.Carol wrote this post last year and agreed to repost it here On The Flipside. This post asks several serious questions about teen issues and Carol offers the answers she came up with to the specific situations. Please read this post and offer your opinion/answer in the comments. Thanks, Carol!
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Teen Drinking, Sex, Curfews and Partying (What we do ...)
("very occasionally, on holidays spent at home with the family, we're fine with a celebratory beer or glass of wine")
What would you do if ...
Okay, his card isn't quite that large, but you get the picture.
Selective Service Registration
WHO MUST REGISTER
Almost all male U.S. citizens, and male aliens living in the U.S., who are 18 through 25, are required to register with Selective Service. It's important to know that even though he is registered, a man will not automatically be inducted into the military. In a crisis requiring a draft, men would be called in sequence determined by random lottery number and year of birth. Then, they would be examined for mental, physical and moral fitness by the military before being deferred or exempted from military service or inducted into the Armed Forces.
Guess what Grown-up Girl did not get for her 18th birthday? You guessed it--no mandatory Selective Service Registration for her.
Without going into what I think about SSR as a matter of policy, or the odds that we'll ever have a draft again, or my views on war in general, I have to note that only males are required to register. And that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me.
I am a feminist. I happen to be a feminist who has spent my adult life fulfilling a very traditional role, that of stay-at-home-mom and homemaker, but I am a feminist. And as such, I believe that women are capable of doing any job a man can do and deserve every opportunity men have.
If a woman deserves the same rights and opportunities as a man, does it not follow that she should have the same responsibilities? I believe it does. I can't think of a single reason that my son should be expected and possibly ordered to serve his country, but my daughter should not.
I have discussed this with mothers "in real life." What I find is that mothers of only girls are appalled at the idea. Mothers of only boys have never really considered the idea. And mothers who have both boys and girls may be surprised by the idea, but they concede that it does make sense that equal rights should also entail equal responsibilities.
Personally, the idea of any of my children going to war terrifies me. It would be worse if they went because of a draft rather than having entered the military voluntarily. I just can't imagine thinking that it would be acceptable that only our sons bear this burden.
After all, we've come a long way, baby--and sometimes, along with the upside, there's a downside.
Originally posted at Juggling Life 12:46 AM 4/24/08
Please leave your honest opinion whether you agree with Jenn or are On The Flipside on this subject. And, make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to Jenn, to me and to other commenters. And, please go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.
Your neighbor - a very good friend - constantly allowed her dog to poop in your yard/on your lawn - without ever cleaning it up and allowed it to happen day after day after day?
My twin daughters and I have had discussions lately about tattoos.
Since I have three teenagers at home (17, 15, 13), one of my main motherly duties is checking up on my kids. Danger Boy calls it spying; Mr. Fix-it and I like to call it parenting. Big Red is in the final semester of his senior year. He doesn't tell me much of what's going on (okay, he tells me nothing), but I hear things through the grapevine. I've got a friend whose son actually likes to dish! Right now the high school party circuit is in full swing.
Does this look familiar to anyone?
Yes, many of us did. I am one of the many that started drinking in my senior year of high school. Today I look back on the risks and I took and I cannot fathom not trying to prevent my kids from making the same stupid mistakes I did. I got lucky. Lucky is not a parenting plan in my book. If you need more convincing than the memory of your own misspent youth, check out this Washington Post article.
Big Red and I have a running joke about partying. I tell him "It's your job to try and my job to stop you. You do your job and I'll do mine." The result has been that, although we've had a couple of incidents, for the most part he just doesn't go out much. I was pretty pleased when the phone calls started flying about a drinking party not too long ago. When I got the call asking where my son was, I was happy to be able to say, "Sitting here next to me."
So many parents worry about their kids being made fun of, or of them not being popular, that they let them go to parties when they know there will be drinking. Not me. I will bust your ass in a heartbeat if I think you're stepping off the line when it comes to drinking or any other drugs. And it's not like he doesn't have friends, he does. I'm sure he is sometimes places where underage drinking and other illicit activities are happening--but he can always use the fallback of his overprotective parents and their nosy ways as an excuse not to partake. Of course this means that I frequently have to wake up at midnight on a Saturday night and have a coherent conversation while we stare deeply into each other's eyes and I slyly sniff. It's not just the babies that interrupt your sleep!
I'm sure he's not going to be an angel when he heads off to Colorado State this August. I'm not even sure I want him to be a total innocent. I do think that not having his brain chemistry changed at the age of 15 or 16 by weekend drinking will have left him with a lot better judgement than if he had been chemically altering his consciousness these last couple of years.
BTW, I'm pretty upfront with my kids about my early party days. Not in graphic detail, but just enough so that they know that whatever they might think about doing I already did; and I surely know what it looks and smells like, so don't even try it. Of course, I'm not all reefer madness or anything. My point of view is that no one ever said "Wow, I'm really drunk (or stoned), I think I'll study and get ahead in life."
What's the blogospheropinion on this?
Originally Posted at Juggling Life 01:41 AM 4/3/08
Please offer your honest opinion/answer, whether you agree with Jenn or are On The Flipside. And, remember to follow the comment rules and be nice to Jenn, to me and to the other commenters. And ... please remember to go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.
Poll results: How Do You Feel About Teens Drinking? 20 People too poll. 9 (45%) said they don't think teens should drink. 0 said they felt it was okay of teens drink. 2 (10%) said it was okay if teens drink as long as they were around the parents. 9 (45%) said they wished teens would never drink at all.
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