Adrian has written a great post and so graciously agreed to be a Guest Blogger for On The Flipside. Please read her post below and then leave your opinion on this topic in the comments. And, don't forget to go over and visit Adrian at Adrian's Crazy Life. Thanks, Adrian!
Affluenza - The New Epidemic
Be honest - have you ever bought something expensive and then hid it from your husband or lied about it? I think "Affluenza" or over shopping has become something of an epidemic among women lately. For some people it's shoes or clothes, for others it's pretty things for the home, or craft and hobby supplies.Because I run a rubber stamping and scrap booking business, I've seen this up close and personal. I've had customers buy products from me that I know they aren't going to use and some of them boast of hiding their purchases from their husbands. I've even seen T-shirts - "I can have all the scrap booking products I can hide".
A friend of mine had a customer purchase $900 worth of stamps in her first order. Now, how can you possibly use that much stuff? I guarantee you those stamps are sitting in a closet somewhere gathering dust. I don't even have $900 worth of stuff and I run a business where I use mine constantly.
I guess I'm more sensitive to the husband thing because I've been on the receiving end of it. I'm very proud that I've never lied to my husband about ANYTHING in our 25 year marriage. If I buy something and he asks about it, I'm very up front about it. Here's what I bought and here's what I paid for it - if he doesn't like it, too bad. But he hasn't always been that way with me. One time, he bought some expensive camera equipment on a credit account and hid the bills from me for months. When I finally did find out, I was furious!
So how 'bout you? Do you suffer from "Affluenza"? If so, do you hide it from your husband or significant other? Why? How do you justify it and what problems does it create for you?
Please be honest - whether you agree or are On The Flipside, and make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to Adrian and to me and to other commenters. And, please go over to the sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.
Poll results: Have You Ever Bought Something Expensive And Then Hid It From Your Husband Or Lied About It? 8 people participated in poll. 2 (25%) said Yes- Sometimes and 6 (75%) said No.
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23 comments:
I honestly can't say that I do hide anything from my hubby and I hope he doesn't from me. However my Mom was and is a horder and she hides things constantly from my Dad. They both are terrible with $$ so when I see this it infuriates me.
I don't hide things from my husband. He has a right to know what is going on in our accounts. We talk about all big purchases; his and mine.
I use the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. If he asks, I tell him, but I don't ask his permission to purchase something when I've earned the extra money it took to buy it with. Heck, it took most of our 37 years before I ever bought something that was just for me.
Yes. That's my answer. Yes. :)
No I don't do that!What's the use!?
He would find out any way!Plus I don't think it's a good thing for a marriage:hiding things!
xoxo
I don't hide it and I rarely buy things I won't use or that are really expensive. My husband asks me how much it was and that's that. I do all the bills and he trusts me 100% that we had the money for me to buy it. Also, if he wants something big and/or expensive, he clears it with me first just to make sure we have the money. It's a trust thing and we both trust each other very much.
I am not yet married but my mom has done this my whole life. She would take my many sisters and I shopping and we'd bring half the bags in at a time. I suppose I've never really seen anything wrong with it. My Dad thinks his daughters should be wearing Wranglers and t-shirts from Shopper's Supply (which is a farm supply store). My mom has a full-time job and is very financially successful. I suppose if I my parents weren't so affluent, it could be a problem.
I certainly hope I don't have to share the whereabouts of every penny with my husband. I should have the freedom to spend my money where I see fit without having to answer to someone about every purchase.
I never lie to my husband. I tell him what I've bought. I don't always volunteer details. Like I might say I've bought some clothes. If he asks, of course, I tell the truth. Lying is so very destructive in a marriage. Or in any relationship, for that matter.
We also both use the same checkbook so what I've bought is always obvious. And I don't think he has ever complained.
Nice post. Good points.
if i've ever lied about a purchase, i cannot remember. however, i have failed on several occasions to clue him in on purchases... so, my only lie would fall under the omission category:b
l,
d
My husband and I don't do this. We don't necessarily ask permission from each other, but we usually do tell the other one if we're buying something a little costly. We're weird in that we do a lot of our shopping together, so it really couldn't happen anyway.
I've never done that. I'm usually so excited about what I do buy that I show him right away :-) Same with him . . . he never actually buys much for himself, and neither do I . . . so no need to hide it. I scrapbook and have an entire hobby room full of stuff, all of which I use. If he ever asks "what's it for and why do you need it" I tell him . . . and then I explain that it's a one-time purchase and I'll have it forever.
He really doesn't care . . . and neither do I since we've never had an issue with impulsive over-spending :-)
I buy scrapbooking stuff that will take me years to use but, I have never hidden it from my husband. It is usually right there out in the open in a sack sitting on my scrapbook table waiting for me to use it. We have a deal, I do not tell him what he can spend on motorcycles and he does not tell me what I can spend on scrapbook supplies.
We're open and honest with everything. Seen too many people play that and it blows up in their face.
We don't hide things from each other but neither do we ask permission of each other or give the third degree about what something costs on routine things like clothing, gifts, etc. Big purchases like furniture, cars, etc are made together.
I wouldn't say I hide things that I buy from the husband. More often than not, I'm waiting to see if he notices that I'm wearing something new. And sometimes he does.
The most extreme story of this I've ever seen, however, was the woman who bought a puppy from my sister, who breeds Yorkies, and she didn't tell her husband about it before she came to pick it up.
Oops!
I don't believe in hiding things from my husband and I feel horrible if I did. If I feel like it's not a good purchase then I try not to buy it...unfortunately I can get carried away. Thankfully he is wonder and supportive and doesn't freak on me even when I deserve it. In return I try to be the same.
:-)
What would be the fun in buying things if you couldn't share them with your husband??
I like to go shopping with my mom and come home and boast about all of my purchases. I pull each of them out and show them to him, looking for the 'nod of the head' seal of approval. :)
I actually do NOT hide anything I buy from my husband. It's not honest and it's not fair to him. Plus- he does the money...so I always ask him before I buy anything over $10-$15. We have a good system and it's a partnership, and I think that's a good thing! :)
I've actually done this, I'm ashamed to say. Not often, though. We have separate accounts for "personal" stuff, so I don't have to tell him what I buy, but sometimes I don't want him to know.
I'm not a shoes, clothes or gadget kind of person. I'm the one who budgets the money and I know how hard it is to make the money.
Although I think it's great for our economy that there are people out spend-spend-spending... I'm not one of them.
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