Monday, August 4, 2008

I Think The Real Word I'm Looking For Is Probably - Bitch

One night, while I was lying in bed reading a book, my husband walked up, took off his jeans and red t-shirt and dropped them on the floor on his side of the bed, as he does every night. And then he said, "I think that dog's finally trained."

He was referring, at the time, to our two year old Pomeranian, Barbie.

When my husband made this comment about the pup finally being trained, I didn't even ask what he meant, as I assumed that he meant that she had gone easily into her crate. I simply said, "She's been trained. It's you that's not trained." He just laughed and crawled into bed.

He knew exactly what I meant when I made this comment. The puppy is pretty well trained, but she will not listen to a word he says, because I am the alpha dog in our family. She listens to most anything I tell her to do, because ... I am the alpha dog. My husband knows this as well. He doesn't necessarily like it or even know how it happened, but he knows.

I became truly aware that I was the alpha dog once we got Barbie. We also have another dog (a five year old Golden Retriever) named Buddy. I was the leader of the pack with Buddy before Barbie ever came along, but never exactly realized it until her arrival. Our family order goes: Me, Husband, Twins (equal on the totem pole), Little Billy, Alexis, Buddy, Barbie and then the two cats (Snape and Banana). At least that is the order the dogs relate to. And I think if my husband were to have to admit this honestly, he would agree that this is probably the order of things.

I didn't choose this alpha position. I don't think I was really even aware of what it meant until I started watching The Dog Whisperer (Cesar Millan), on TV. He's amazing - that guy- with those dogs. Anyway, I've watched him a lot over the past several years and agree with much of what he says on his show, with regard to dogs. And, one of the main emphasis' he makes - show after show- is that dogs see their family's as a pack and therefore need to have established or establish themselves, a leader. In our family, I was already the leader before these canines came along - so no need to change that, as far as I was concerned. They see me as the ... alpha dog.

My husband doesn't watch this show as often (if ever) as I, and probably doesn't even realize all this alpha stuff; therefore, he gets his ego hurt that these dogs won't listen to him. According to Cesar Millan, everyone (all humans) should be able to control these dogs - we should all be their leaders - as we are the humans. In my house, pretty much everyone is following me - especially the dogs.

My kids are always arguing about who's the boss. "You're not the boss of me," Alexis will tell her big brother. And then she will put her hands on her hips and turn her chin up in the air and announce, "Mom's the boss of everybody." I often tell my kids that their daddy is really the boss of everybody - just so they know.

Once, Alexis came to me and asked, "Are you in charge?" to which I said, "Yes." She then said, "Of everybody?" I said, "Well, I'm in charge of all you kids," and she smiled and walked away. I think she was trying to clear this concept up. I honestly think she may very well believe that I'm in charge of everybody - in the whole world. I didn't clarify that for her, as it didn't occur to me that she might think this until she left my room. That's okay - if she believes I'm in charge of everybody in the whole world - I kind of like her thinking I'm that powerful; like I have super powers or something. She's only seven ... she'll find out soon enough how very little power I actually have.

For the most part, the alpha dog position SUCKS! My husband's not missing anything.

This is JUST how it is in my house. What's it like in yours? Are you the alpha dog or are you On The Flipside and your husband holds the alpha position in your family?

Give me your honest opinion/answer - whether you agree with me or have a FLIPSIDE view. But, please make sure you follow the comment rules and be nice to me and other commenter's. And please go over to my sidebar and participate in the poll on this topic.

25 comments:

Julie said...

I would most certainly say that *I* am the leader of this pack... And hubby knows it. *lol*

(Not a dog person, so I can't use the alpha dog thing *rofl*)

dani said...

i'm the alpha dog here, kellan:) hear me bark!!! lol!!!
l,
d

Kami said...

We don't have a dog so I can't use that as proof but I the kids do seem to think I am the boss... What did mommy say? they will ask their dad...he seems okay with it and I know I am!

Dawn said...

I'm not really sure...my kids don't listen to me as well do for my husband but I pretty much get everything I want from my husband. ;)

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

I am definitely the alpha in our home. The kids know it, the dogs know it, and the hubs knows it. =D
The pom is adorable, and I love love LOVE golden retrievers!

bichonpawz said...

My husband would say he is the Alpha. Both of your dogs are very cute!!

Brenda said...

I'm a clever alpha, they only think they control things around here, that's my secret.

rthling said...

This is the reason my giving Roxy to Hailey is confusing the stink out of Roxy. She really doesn't get the shift in power.

Sheri said...

Well, since it's just me and the mutt, I would HOPE that I'm the Alpha dog. However, some days it's clearly apparent that she has ME well trained! For instance, when she looks at me, then whines, then looks at the bathroom, I know to get up and turn the faucet on for her! See . . . I CAN be trained!

Courtney said...

Everyone knows I am the alpha dog. Hubby is okay with it. Our Pastor jokes with him all the time about it and he is fine with it. He is such a good boy...rofl.

kim-d said...

BWAHAHAHA...I have cats. They run the household. They only allow me to live here with them. And I'm good with that.

You know what I think, though? I think that little kids NEED to know that someone is in charge of everybody; I think that is where their security lies. Most of the time, their worlds are still fairly small so, to Alexis, you are in charge of the WHOLE WORLD. HER whole world. And kids her age need that. Because, at that age, to not have someone in charge is too frightening and too much for them to handle.

Marmarbug said...

I am the leader of the pack. Hubby tells people he is but we all know that when a decision is made my approval must be there first.
And my dogs worship me and accept the hubby.

Janet said...

Since we have a blended family (2 dogs and 3 cats were mine, 1 dog and 2 cats were his) the Alpha position varies. Neither of us is Alpha dog when it comes to the kids; they won't listen to anyone.
As to the dogs themselves, the little terrier mix runs the shepherd/coyote mix and the Rottweiler/newfoundland mix.

common mom said...

I am definitely the alpha dog . . . for many reasons, but mostly because I'm the only one home every night. Hubby is gone 16 days a month flying, so it's gotta be me . . . there is no way in &$(( the kids or the dog are going to be in charge ;-) And I'm the one who takes Duma to training.

It actually goes, in the eyes of my dog . . .

Me
Dude (cuz Duma gets to sleep with him)
Hubby
Princess

In the eyes of my kids? It depends on which kid you're asking . . . but I'm most definitely at the top of the food chain ;-)

Pregnantly Plump said...

We tried having a dog a few years ago, but my allergies and her distaste for me kind of soured the relationship. In her eyes my husband was the alpha dog and I was below her. Since she affected my allergies, I didn't want to get too close anyway. When we moved we found a nice, newly retired couple to take her. Hopefully they were better able to train her and assert their alpha-ness.
Since having Little Elvis, I am have definitely become more of the alpha dog.

tammy said...

Really enjoyed this post, Kellan!

My hubby is the alpha dog.... only when I tell him he is ; )

Carlson Family said...

I am the alpha dog in my family. I do it all and everyone does what I say and the hubby is fine with it. He prefers it that way and knows that I am happy having this position. Love your blogs by the way!

Jaina said...

I'd have to say that 95% of the time, my mom is the alpha dog in our family. I'm my own alpha dog...of course it's just me, so, no surprise there. Haha.

Denise said...

I'm the alpha dog. Of course, it's just me and my son living in my house now, but even when I lived with my husband, I was also the alpha dog. Probably because I'm bossy.
I love the name Barbie for a dog :)
Denise

One Scrappy Chicklet said...

I keep trying to pass the alpha role to the husband but he is having none of it. His answer to everything is: go ask your mom. He says that way he is never in trouble with the "mom" for making a bad decision. LOL. To be honest D~man tends to be the alpha around here but he is smart enough to let me think that I am.

Helen E.M. Wright said...

I'm the bossier out of the two and I do usually get my way more often than not.

I really think it comes down to birth order! I know, weird!

I'm the oldest in my family, I have two younger brothers. I'm bossy! I like to call it 'older sister syndrome' my brothers call it bitchiness.

My husband is the baby, always has been told what to do in the family and is used to giving in to others!

That means...we get along great!

Denise Wheeler said...

When it comes to everything but money my hubby is in charge. I prefer it that way. I like for him to take the lead and I will just follow. I have just as much input as he does but I let him have the final say.

Anonymous said...

Just curious - what were the poll results on this one?

Leah said...

my hubby and I battle it out equally for the "alpha dog" role in our house. He came from a house where dad was dominant, I came from a house where mom was dominant, we're both teh first-born children (so a little more head-strong and take-charge, stereotypically), and whenever we have problems, it always comes down to who is the leader, who should have the "say so", who is RIGHT, and who should really be deciding things... LOL It can be a real pain in the butt more often than not, but I guess I like that my kids get to see that BOTH parents are involved and BOTH parents are strong and in charge, and the examples we set of when/how we settle the problems, etc. They won't have the example that any one parent is more or less dominant and they see a lot of compromising happening...

However, me being the stay at home parent, I tend to make more of the kid related decisions just because I'm around more and have more insight to the different situations that come up. But they listen better to HIM when he steps in, because they don't have him laying down the law all that often, whereas it's OLD HAT coming from me...

and our dog? Even after 8 years, she still thinks she runs the show (even after we each took turns LAYING ON HER and pinning her down at the request of the dog obedience class leader, who thought we could show our dominance and teach her WE were in charge, not her), and we're just lucky she's getting old and isn't as spirited and head-strong as she once was. LOL!!

The Boyds Family said...

Yep, I'm the alpha around here, but I guess that's only natural, since he's gone a lot...